It's a funny thing.
Most people who learn EFT want to use it to make their lives easier and more comfortable.
They've been to the workshop, seen the videos, read the books and manuals, they are filled with enthusiasm and high hopes for all the changes they are going to make in their lives....
And then they forget to use it!
It's not as though EFT takes a long time to clear everyday difficulties, it's not particularly complicated and you don't need any special equipment apart from your fingertips, but many people just forget to tap.
Reasons We Forget to Tap
I think there are four reasons why people can't quite adopt the tapping habit.
- Misunderstanding: With all the videos of dramatic life changing interventions using EFT it's easy to forget that you don't need to have experienced a massive trauma, prolonged abuse or life-threatening illnesses to benefit from EFT. You can just as easily use EFT regularly to undo the smaller stresses that add up during a lifetime, or work to prevent the big blow ups from ever happening.
- Habit: If you don't have the tapping habit, it's easier to do what you usually do. It takes a little time to establish a tapping habit so that EFT becomes the first response to everyday problems instead of the last.
- Lack of know-how: Learning the mechanics of tapping is very straightforward; learning how to apply this to your unique experience takes a little time and experimentation. If you don't feel confident in your abilities it's easier to leave the tapping to one side and use whatever you normally use to calm yourself.
- Resistance: This is where a part of you blocks you ever using these techniques to change. Resistance shows up as procrastination and self sabotage working hard to maintain the status quo.
Tips and Strategies
If you are someone who "forgets to tap" this article will give you 10 tips and strategies to remind you to use EFT in everyday life and get the many benefits it has to offer:
1. Set Your Intention: Decide to tap on a regular basis, then make a public commitment. Tell your partner, family or friends. Ask them to check on a regular basis that you are living up to your commitment (choose someone who won't let you off the hook). If you have difficulty deciding to set your intention, you might like to investigate the resistance you have to making that decision.
2. Think Mosqui: If you have ever been bitten by a mosquito you will know that it is very difficult to resist slapping at them. It's an unpleasant experience and we want it to stop. You might think that people would want to resolve a problem just as quickly, but human beings have a tremendous capacity to just put up with problems and adjust to difficulties. Decide to treat minor daily problems as mosquitoes that are biting you. If you have lots of daily problems, work with them only one at a time, choose your mosquito carefully so that you are not overwhelmed by a "swarm of problem mosquitoes" (see #4, Pick Your Targets).
3. The Snag List: Make a list of any difficulties during your day, just after they happened or at the end of the day. Choose one of them, and work on it with EFT. If you want to take care of some more items on the list then tap on those as well. When you have finished tapping (or run out of things to tap on) file the list away. Start a new snag list everyday so that the list of difficulties doesn't mount up and become overwhelming.
4. Pick Your Targets: Decide in advance what you are going to tap on and what you are going to ignore, so that you are not overwhelmed by too many things to tap on at once. If you have something specific in mind it's much easier to notice when it happens and do something about it. Decide what is most important to you on a daily basis, what you are going to put up with for the moment and what you want to change. Write it down and get tapping.
5. Create A Habit: Set aside a regular time and place that you can use to process issues. Book an appointment with yourself in your diary and make sure you won't be interrupted. Treat these appointments as you would a lunch date or a trip to the gym.
6. Tap In Company: If you live with or have access to fellow tappers enlist their help. Make a tapping date or go to a tapping support group. The encouragement, support and social commitment of tapping with others can make it a lot easier to develop the tapping habit.
7. Forgive Yourself When You Stumble: At the end of a day where you have not tapped acknowledge to yourself that you decided not to tap and forgive yourself; then recommit to starting again the next day. It's not the end of the world to miss tapping for a day but it is worth bringing it into your awareness that you've missed the opportunity and want to take the next one, rather than just let the omission slide.
8. Notice Recurring Problems: Many of our daily difficulties are repetitive; they have an "Oh, no! Here we go again" quality. We tend to let minor difficulties slip if tapping seems like too much effort, but if you were to add up all that suffering, you might decide that it is well worth resolving for your long term peace and happiness. If you have a regular difficulty that you just tend to ride out and wait for it to pass make a mark in your calendar or journal (a red dot) every time it happens. At the end of each month, count up the number of red dots and the suffering it represents, then decide whether that much suffering is worth dealing with once and for all.
9. Notice The Solution: Make a note of one problem, do the tapping to neutralise the problem, and then make a note of the difference in how you feel and act, both at the time of the tapping and the next time the problem situations arise. If you spend time noticing the difference EFT makes in these day-to-day problems it will help you to develop motivation for using it more often.
10. Link A Good Habit To A Bad Habit: A very common approach to self soothing is to indulge in distractions. At the end of the day you might flop down in your sofa and watch some junk TV or read a trashy magazine. You might like to try linking some of your usual distractions for tapping. For example: If your usual approach to a tough day is to watch one hour of junk TV when you get home, trade 30 minutes of junk TV for 30 minutes of tapping (or if that is too much to ask, add 10 minutes tapping to the hour of junk TV). This is one way to turn an existing habit to your advantage.
Pick one of the suggestions that appeals to you and commit to it for one week. Notice what happens.
Why not give yourself the chance to find out how much better things can be when you remember to tap.
Andy Hunt is an EFT International Accredited Certified EFT Master Trainer & Advanced Practitioner living in the North East of England. He is also an NLP Trainer and Practitioner. He works with people who give themselves a hard time and get in their own way. He is the author of the book “Getting Out Of Your Own Way – Finding and Releasing Unconscious Blocks with EFT” and the creator of the free e-class “The Tapping Habit”. Visit him online at www.practicalwellbeing.co.uk.
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on May 12, 2012.