My name is Max. I would like to share with you a significant breakthrough I achieved in my healing process. It illustrates the need to be specific, and to use the right words doing EFT. Please keep in mind that I am a work in progress. I still have many issues to solve, but this major one was tackled with a single sentence, after years of detective work
A little background about me: I suffered from the very traumatic divorce of my parents when I was 12 years old. My mother left my father after having had an affair with my piano teacher. She became very violent towards me, beating me, and yelling all the time. She wasn't my "mum" anymore, she was a different person. At the time I didn't understand that she was suffering from severe depression. My whole world collapsed. I decided to live with my father, and it was a very long battle to obtain the right to do so.
Finally I was allowed to live with my father, and I didn't see my mother for the next 14 years. I understood much later that all my "passions" were revolving around the effort to regain the control I had lost at that time.
I was deeply interested in self-help methods and spirituality, and in 2006, I stumbled upon EFT. For a long time, I had no tangible result on myself, only some spectacular ones working with others. I firmly believed in EFT, but couldn't apply it correctly to myself. I was always feeling this vague sensation of loneliness, emptiness and, and nostalgia.
Then, in 2008, the worst happened. It won't be a big surprise if I tell you that my relationships with women had always been extremely difficult. It was my turn to be cheated on and left, like my father had been when I was 12. I instantly relived my painful past. I started having panic attacks and had to quit my medical studies.
I decided to give EFT another try... but differently. I used the slow EFT technique for a while, repeating a key word slowly while staying for a long time on each point. This was basically a kind of EFT meditation. From my point of view, it was the only way I could work on my complex issues alone, because there were simply too many aspects to tap on. I released many aspects of different episodes from the past.
Then I asked my psychologist if I could just tap while we were talking. It was a way to integrate the "telling the story" technique into regular therapy. Sometimes I would just tap on my finger points while talking, and I must say that many insights were coming to the surface from doing so. For example, the realization that I had been a control freak for all those years without even suspecting it. And, that it was related to the fact of having lost control at one point of my life. This form of tapping was inspired by the articles of Steve Wells and David Lake.
At one point, when talking about what the announcement of the divorce had provoked in my mind at the time, I instantly said: "The feeling that it would never be the same ever again", and tears started flowing. We had to stop tapping.
All day long, every time I would think of this key sentence, tears would roll down my checks.I managed to fall sleep at about 12:30 a.m. and woke up at 4 a.m., all sweaty, still with this sentence in my mind. I decided to gather my strengths and to tap on this key phrase specifically. After about 20 minutes, all of the emotional burden had left me. I was able to contemplate the sentence without feeling anything.
- The next day I was joyful and felt very light.
- I don't feel this inner emptiness and nostalgia I have always felt.
- I now have a very good relationship with my mother, and we talk very often about many things.
- I still have some addictions (I smoke a lot, for example), but I have a very strong desire to get past them.
I hope that this example gives a good illustration of the necessity of being specific, choosing the right words, and being persistent.
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on November 24, 2012
Fi Ali says
Thank you for sharing your story ! It’s very touching and honest. It reminds me to he comiited myself.
I would be very happy to do so.
I just saw your comment… sorry. I just don’t know how we can get in touch?
I was very interested in reading yr article> I live just north of Bordeaux and am looking for a kind of “Tapping buddy” in this area> I am in the process of doing certification for level 2. I can work in English and French and would like to meet EFT people in my region> I can also try working by scipe or telephone>
What do you think?
That’s so many kind words! The article was easy to write actually, I just had to follow the flow chronologically.
BTW, it’s not my real name of course, and Carna chose a last name from a dictator, haha.
Brilliant, Max. I agree completely with Nili. EFT can be done in many ways, and you have shown the spotlight on a very effective way. Thank you for taking the courage to share this. France is blessed to have you. I am printing off your story to share.
As I told Carna, who published my story, I still have a lot of work to do, especially about addictions.
EFT seems to work like a laser beam, hence the need to be specific. It’s often quite hard alone. Gary Craig is very right when he hammers the need to be specific.
Nili Marcia says
Your article blew me away. The clarity with which you describe the events, the persistence in accomplishing your healing and most of all your courage in sharing your story have me amazed, appreciative and deeply impressed.
Thank you for sharing this and good luck with your continuing success.