Editor's Note: This article began as a personal Case Study submitted for EFT Certification (AAMET) by Kathryn "Kay" Flynn. Kay courageously demonstrates how she starts to unravel a personal limitation on her own – and leaves a trail for us to follow to address our own issues.
At the outset, she doesn't know what is causing her "blockage," but she holds space for her journey, with persistence and skill. Notice how she starts with a "global" understanding of the situation and keeps going – getting more specific (and successful) with each tapping round. I've included her story below, largely unedited, so you can see what her fully explored journey is like – and I look forward to posting a followup down the road. What if we could each explore and resolve our own limitations in a way similar to what Kay describes? - Jade Barbee, Bellows Falls, US
DECEMBER 8, 2013
As a result of our discussion about the client who complained about my price, I was in agreement that blockages probably existed, but I had no idea what they might be. So my first set up statements and reminder phrases are essentially fishing expeditions. I didn’t measure my intensity levels because I was just fishing, just tapping in a global way.
Tapping on the Karate Chop, while speaking aloud:
Even though I have no idea what could be the blockages to my prosperity and getting paying clients, I agree with what Jade said in reference to the client complaining about paying me…that I must have some blockages because my internal life is being manifested in the external. Even though all this is true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I don’t know what the blockages are to my getting paying clients for tapping, I’m interested to figure that out… I’m interested to learn at a heart level and an energetic level. And even though I’m having trouble getting paying clients, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I agree with Jade that I must have some limitations, and some blockages, to attracting paying clients for tapping that’s where I’m at right now and I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Tapping while Speaking Reminder Phrases, starting at the Top of the Head:
Don’t know what the blocks are, but I agree with Jade, that I must have blocks to attracting paying clients, I wonder what they are, I wonder what they are, don’t know what they are but I agree with Jade, there must be some blockages, must be some blockages, don’t know, not sure what the blockages are, maybe I don’t think I’m good enough, haven’t been doing it long enough not experienced enough, don’t know, but I’m interested in figuring this out, I’m interested in getting an answer at an energetic level, don’t know, I seem to be blocked from getting paying clients, blockages from getting paying clients, limitations from getting paying clients…many repeats of that...
I didn’t get any loud or clear direction, so I chose the following as a possible route:
Even though I think I’m not good enough and I don’t deserve the clients…I don’t deserve to get paid for what I love to do I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I don’t think I deserve to get paid for something I love to do, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I don’t think I deserve to get paid for something I absolutely love doing, that’s where I’m at right now.
Reminder Phrases:
Don’t think I should get paid for something I love doing, don’t think I should get paid for play, don’t think I should get paid for loving what I do, don’t think I should charge for something I love doing, etc.
I cut this phase short as the following “hit” occurred:
Even though I think I feel guilty…it may be tied in with my father since I seem to have followed his path and all of his dysfunctions. He couldn’t cut it in private practice. Maybe I think I can’t either or shouldn’t…shouldn’t do better than he did…don’t know, but maybe it’s true.
Even though this may be true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. (I was aware of some mild guilt but not sure why. I was grasping with the shouldn’t do better than my father theme…trying it out).
Even though I seem to have followed my father’s dysfunctional path…he didn’t do well in private business… maybe I think I should follow that route. Even though all that is true, that’s where I’m at right now.
Even though it’s back to my father again... I followed his dysfunctional paths... maybe this is another example…he projected all his failures on to me and I took them on. Maybe this is another one…that for some reason unknown to me, I feel like I shouldn’t succeed in private practice and get money for being an independent contractor because he didn’t succeed. I’m interested to know what that is if that’s true and what’s behind it .
Even though all that’s true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Tapping Through the Points (Reminder Phrases):
AGGGGGHHH! I’m gonna follow my fathers path again, follow this dysfunction that he projected on to me and I took in, huh? Gonna follow that path again of my father…just because he couldn’t do it… I’ve gotta prove that I can’t do it… just because he couldn’t succeed, I gotta prove that I can’t succeed... back to my father again.
He couldn’t do it because he was drinking... I’m not drinking. He couldn’t do it because he wasn’t motivated... I’m motivated. He couldn’t do it because it wasn’t something he loved.
I’ve got passion my father was so unhappy. Deep tears… My father was so unhappy. I feel sorry about that… but I don’t have to follow that route. I don’t have to fail just to prove something. I don’t have to prove that I have empathy for him by failing, repeat, I’m sorry he wasn’t happier… but he made those choices... He didn’t have passion for what he was doing, he didn’t have passion for his life, he didn’t have passion for his marriage, he didn’t have passion for me...
I’m not my father... I’m not my father people always told me I was like him… I was a Flynn, always looked like my father…and I do…and I have his mannerisms… copious tears...I am more like my father than my mother. I have his good traits and I have his bad traits... but I’ve worked through most of his bad traits... I’m not my father... I don’t have to prove anything by being a failure like my father was...
That felt like “pay dirt.”
As you suggested, I put green circles on December 13th and 19th [to schedule future clients]. Before the 13th, I got an email from the woman who complained about my price… wanting to refer a client to me in a barter arrangement. She wanted to gift the sessions to a friend. I stuck to my price. She appears to be on board with that if the client wants the sessions.
About the same time I heard from a friend about another opportunity to work with local clients. Also, before the 19th, out of nowhere, the granddaughter of a friend contacted me saying she wanted sessions. Although I’ve never met her, I consider her as family so I wouldn’t charge. I was able to make that choice! I also had another gift from the Universe, which I’ll share when we talk. All these, however, seem to indicate that the above session was successful in moving some energy around. Hard to prove, but...
DECEMBER 22, 2013
Assuming there was more exploration needed, I again tapped for the purpose of discovering other aspects. I tapped on a previous failed business I had many years ago, but nothing emotionally impacting was revealed. Then I tapped for clarity and there was a small inkling that there was more regarding my father.
Tapping on the Karate Chop:
Even Though I’m coming back to my father, and I have no idea what it’s about, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I have a small inkling that it might be about my father again, and I have no idea what it’s about, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I have a small inkling that it’s coming back to my father again…..I have no idea what that may be about but I’m interested in finding out…even though all that’s true…and all that means to me…I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Reminder Phrases:
May be about my father again, may be something more about my father, that’s blocking me from success, in attracting high paying, appreciative clients even though I don’t know what that’s about...
My father, father issues again, don’t know what they might be, think it might be related to my father again, some blockage to attracting high paying and appreciative clients, into my healing practice… don’t know what that might be, but I’m interested in learning… is it about my father, something to do with my father, blocking my ability, to attract high paying appreciative clients…into my healing practice.
Karate Chop (KC):
Even though I feel guilty in relationship to my father…and all that means to me…I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I must still have some more guilt in reference to my relationship with my father…and all that means to me…it’s where I’m at right now.
Even though I’m still feeling guilty in relationship to my father…and all that means to me…I deeply and completely love and accept myself. (Again, trying it on).
Reminder Phrases:
This feeling of guilt, this feeling of guilt, in relationship to my father, this feeling of guilt, this feeling of guilt in relationship to my father .
The phone rang. Since the session did not have a high or even moderate charge, I stopped.
DECEMBER 24, 2013
Tapping on the Karate Chop, speaking aloud:
Even though I don’t know what the blockages are to attracting high paying clients to my healing sessions, I’m interested in learning what they are and releasing them. Even though all that’s true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I have no idea what I need to do to synchronize my vibration to attract high paying clients into my healing work, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I don’t know what I need to release, or get in touch with, to change my vibratory rate to sync myself to attract high paying and appreciative clients, I’m interested in learning what that is so I can remove any blockages…and all that means to me. Even though all that’s true, that’s where I’m at right now.
Reminder Phrases:
Not sure what the blockages are, to attracting high paying clients, not sure what the blockages are, etc.
Even though I think it might be connected to feeling humiliated when I was drinking and selling real estate.
A conversation the day before led me to believe there MIGHT be some connection to some of those past dark days... but the tapping did not seem to prove a significant correlation to those issues.
Next, I tried:
Even though I’ve failed at past attempts in business... may be related to fear of branching out on my own again.
While the above are tappable events, they don’t appear to correlates highly to this case study.
Then...
Even though I failed in the past in private business, and I lost a lot of money…and it was a slam to my ego...maybe I can do it differently this time... maybe I’m in a different space this time…and all that means to me.
Even though I think there’s still something related to my father in terms of my inability to attract high paying and appreciative clients, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. (repeated three times)
Reminder Phrases:
Father issue again, something to do with my father, don’t know what it is, something to do with my father, interested in finding out, don’t know what it is, something needs to be released about my father, got to recognize it before I can release it, what’s going on with my father...
Even though I have some sadness when I think about my father at this point….
Even though I still think my father has something to do with this blockage to my attracting high paying and appreciative clients, and I feel some sadness surrounding it…and all that means to me….not sure what it’s all about but I’m interested in finding out. Even though all that’s true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I think there’s still some unfinished business with my father in reference to attracting high paying clients and synchronizing my vibration to attracting interesting and appreciative clients. I’m not sure what it is but I’m interested in figuring it out. I feel some sadness around it. Even though all that is true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I think there is still some unfinished business around my father, and I feel some sadness around it… unfinished business that has to be intuited and released to release more of the blockages that I have to attracting high paying and appreciative clients…and all that means to me… Even though all that’s true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Reminder Phrases:
Still something to do with my father, feel sad around my father, feel some sadness around my father and this issue, repeated throughout the round. Healing breath and pause.
Major aspect entered at this point
Karate Chop:
Even though my father essentially told me I could never do anything right, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though he droned on and on and on…hour after hour after hour and day after day after day, and week after week after week, month after month after month, year after year after year telling me I couldn’t do anything right, what makes me think I can do something right now… that was the theme…so what makes me think I can do this right... that’s what he always told me... deep tears...
Even though all this is true, I deeply and completely love and accept myself. X 2
Reminder Phrases:
How could you do that to me? <deep, copious tears>
Dad, you broke my spirit, You constantly hammered on me that I couldn’t do anything right, I could never make a right decision, I could never make a right move, I could never do anything right, how could you do it to me, how could you be so mean to me…someone you said you loved…is that love, how could you do it, day after day after day, hour after hour after hour, week after week after week, month after month, after month, year after year after year, telling me I was no good, couldn’t make a right decision, couldn’t make a right move, never did anything right, never did anything right, that’s what you said, even when I stopped drinking… you said that novelty would wear off fast…you told me I was cold, you told me I was dispassionate, you told me I wasn’t a Flynn, you essentially told me I was no good, that I could never be any good or do anything right, oh dad…then you told me if I thought I had it tough I should have had your father…I get it, I get it at a head level…but you so hurt my heart, you so much hurt my heart…serious tears…you broke my heart, you broke my heart, you broke my spirit, you broke my passion, you broke my motivation, my inspiration, I dysfunctionally carried your projections...
I know they were all projections of your dysfunction and your unhappiness…that’s easier to get at a head level than it is at a heart level…I acted out your dissatisfactions, I acted it out, I made what you said true, I screwed up, had to take a year out of college…fortunately I went back…almost killed myself with alcohol, fortunately got sober, failed in business... picked myself up, fortunately l found a stable job, able to take care of myself...
I’m not you, I’m not your projections, I’m me, I’m coming into my own, I’m not cold, I’m not dispassionate, I have heart, I have passion, I’m on the right path, sorry you couldn’t find it, I found it, I’m on it, I’m living it, I have heart, I have passion, I have gratitude, I have love, I have direction, I have wonderful mentoring, I’m on the right path, and I’m following it, and I’m loving it, I’ve moved beyond, and I’m SO grateful, I’ve moved beyond, and I hope you have too, I hope you’ve found what you needed, I hope you’ve found peace, I hope you’ve found love, I hope you’ve found compassion, you were so bright, you were so intelligent, you were so sensitive, I’m sorry you couldn’t live a life with all those positives, I’m sorry you were disappointed and unfulfilled, I’m sorry you were depressed, I’m sorry you couldn’t stop drinking...
I’m sorry you didn’t stop drinking, for whatever reason, we were meant to be together, for whatever lessons, we were meant to learn together, I’m moving on, I love what I’m doing, I’m doing what I love, and I have such love, and loving people helping me, giving me kudos, giving me inspiration, giving me encouragement, giving me high grades, telling me I’m ok, telling me I have passion, telling me they appreciate me, telling me they love me, it’s been a wonderful trip.
These last 8 months, a wonderful journey, the best 8 months of my life, I’m loving every minute, I’m growing every minute, my heart is growing, my love is growing, my gratitude and wonder are growing.
Kathryn “Kay” Flynn, LCSW
EFT International Certified EFT Practitioner
Kay is a volunteer member of the Newtown Trauma Relief and Resiliency Project (in partnership with The Tapping Solution Foundation).
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on Jan 4, 2014.
Kelly Ann Matuskiewicz says
Kay,
You are amazing! Your courage to go deep opens the space you’re able to hold for others. Your heart is huge and I’m blessed to know you.
Warmly,
Kelly Ann
Ann Denman says
Dear Kay
This is such a great and inspirational piece you have shared and shows what we EFT Practitioners know but clients don’t always get easily and that is perseverance when nothing ‘comes up’. It is this experimenting with possibles, that of course are coming from inside of us but seem random, that makes this work.
As a practitioner sometimes these are the inspirational intuitive moments that we ‘get’ when a client appears stuck and we use different words that can spike a reaction and therefore healing.
Thank you for sharing and good luck in all you do – you are brilliant.
With love
Ann
Linda Dayton says
You Rock Kay Flynn. So proud to know and love you! With deep gratitude for your courage to share your story so we can all heal.