Did you know that around I in 8 pregnancies is thought to start out as womb twins? But of those twin pregnancies, for every live pair born, 10-12 result in singleton births?* There can be many reasons for this and profound impacts on the surviving twin, for which EFT is powerful support.
Womb Twin Survivor
A Womb Twin Survivor is the born baby of a twin or multiple pregnancy, the one that makes it to term. This is the Alpha twin; the survivor, the stronger one, the leader. There may be irrefutable medical evidence – stillbirth, ultrasound scans. Or there may just be an inner knowing – feeling only half alive, a sense of something missing, haunted by death, and massive relief on finding out (e.g. anorexic for 19 years, eating normally 6 weeks later). There may be other medical evidence, not diagnostic, but pointers: dermoid cysts, empty sacs or scars on the placenta, foetus papyraceous. And there may be circumstantial clues if the mother says, ‘Of course, you had a twin brother’ or the aunt says, ’Well, there was that car accident just before you were born’.
Vanishing Twin
The Vanishing Twin is the one that does not survive nine months in the womb or dies soon after. It appears on the first ultrasound but not the second. It is generally the weaker one, referred to as Beta, foetus conceptus, the lost twin. Perhaps it was less well-nourished, or didn’t attach to the uterus securely, had less space, was damaged (that car accident). It may shrivel or be re-absorbed, or it may need to be delivered and born.
Memory and the Search for Healing
Today, there’s recognition of the huge impact on the surviving twin from painstaking research, personal accounts and experiences, and from advances in our understanding of how the human brain stores and processes memory. The hippocampus creates and stores explicit, narrative memories (who/what/when), but is only fully developed at 2-3 years old. Before that, the Amygdala is responsible for implicit or ‘felt’ memories, vague sensations; cellular and pre-verbal.
So the womb twin survivor remembers, and constantly ‘re-enacts’ in born life what happened to beta, the unhealed trauma in utero. This search for healing is known as the Dream of the Womb. It may even show up as depression, mental illness, suicidal tendencies, an obsession with death, eating disorders (from starvation to obesity). All expressions of grief and survivor guilt, attempts to heal what happened.
EFT Tips
If you suspect someone may be a Womb Twin Survivor:
Listen out for Core Language, and tap with their words – unusual expressions, words that stand out, persistent thoughts, e.g.
• Getting to the root of it
• Bereavement
• Lost before it ever came to be/really existed
• Died before they were even given birth
• Dead in the water
• As if I never existed
• Eclipsed
• Breath-taking
• Sinking into oblivion
Notice Core Emotions and Behaviours, and use accompanying descriptors, e.g.
• Something missing
• Doesn’t fully make sense
• Always been there
Notice anything that doesn’t seem to have a start or an explanation.
Explore any unhelpful patterns that may be running.
Ask family members, not just parents, for stories around the pregnancy or birth.
Refer to other sources, e.g. medical checklists, questionnaires, books.
If you know someone is a Womb Twin Survivor:
• Bear in mind that Womb Twin Survivors are born grieving.
• Accept whatever they say/feel, however unverifiable or vague.
• Focus on the Core Issue, what happened in the womb.
• Tap very thoroughly through all aspects and emotions/sensations presented.
• Tap using any memories that arise however incomplete.
• Use Inner Child, Parts work, Matrix, or any other EFT variant as appropriate.
• Separate then from now, alpha from beta traits.
• Offer options for a ‘letting go’ or healing, a name, symbol or place of remembrance, whatever feels right to them.
• Support in rebuilding their true alpha identity, and tap for any resistance.
• Refer to specialists for specific mental health challenges: clinical depression, suicidal ideation, eating disorders, addictions/compulsions.
Resources
EFT offers a powerful tool to explore, process and heal events that happened in utero and their consequences for the surviving twin in born life. Other useful resources include Althea Hayton’s books, Womb Twin Survivors or The Healing Path, and website www.wombtwin.com
*Charles E. Boklage Ph.D (1995) Frequency and Survival Probability of Natural Twin Conceptions; Keith, L.G., Papiernik, E., Keith, D.M. and Luke, B. (eds) (1995) Multiple Pregnancy: Epidemiology, Gestation and Perinatal Outcome. New York: Parthenon.
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Article by Hilary Jones, Accredited Certified EFT Master Trainer
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