EFT Sometimes Kicks In with Stunning Delay

Note from the author: "Margaret" (not her real name) is a transgender person. She is a male to female non-operative transsexual (a transsexual who undergoes hormonal treatments but does not have the surgery). This case also illustrates that EFT sometimes "kicks in" with stunning delay.

Margaret, 65 years old, was sent to me by her nurse practitioner. She suffered from a host of debilitating diseases and intense, chronic anger. She was not really interested in this weird stuff called EFT and probed into my transgender/transsexual attitude before she made an appointment. She said, "You wouldn't believe what I hear, even from doctors." (And she is right about that, as it turned out).

In our first session, I taught her how to do EFT, and then asked if she felt any physical pain right now. She said that she had no energy and launched into a somewhat confrontational, very angry tirade about the government. It was a definite 10 on our scale of discomfort, her body got tense, and her face was red and hot. So we tapped:

Even though the government is waging a bio warfare against its citizens.

Even though the government cost me 5 to 6 years of my life...

Even though the government is killing people, it takes out whole families...

A slap in my face ... disabling me ... the government poisons us ... does not care ... nobody cares ... you can't defend yourself ... you think it's a blue sky but it's all poison ...

After several rounds of tapping, the intensity was still at a solid 10. "What's this gonna do", Margaret said (meaning EFT), "my anger is justified, why should I let go of it?"

I decided not to bang my head against that wall and opened a different door instead. I inquired about the transgender issue. Immediately, intense fear surfaced. She talked about how many transgender people are humiliated, physically attacked, and even killed. "Society does not accept us, we are considered worthless and threatening. Any redneck can kill us at any moment." I asked who represented this view of society first in her life.

"My mother", Margaret said (her father had not come home from World War II). The fear and anger was at a 10, and so we tapped many rounds.

My mother did not believe me when I said, "I'm a girl" at the age of three ... She did not let me play with the girls in the sandbox and said: "Get over it, this can't be." She forced me to behave like a boy..She put my cot on the porch when I was bedwetting and rubbed my face into the soiled sheets ... She beat me with a belt almost every day ... This belt on the door ... this reign of terror, and my sister was always on her side ... I was the underdog, they ruled ... eat what's on your plate, do or die ... this unfairness and injustice.. I am totally on my own ... this fear and intimidation ... she would not even consider that I knew what I was feeling ... this fear, this rage, this terror ... .

Afterwards, it was still at a solid 10, and the session was over. It seemed as if we had made no progress whatsoever. Margaret was not sure if she wanted to come back, and, at that point, I wasn't sure either if I could help her. However, five minutes after she had left me, she called on her cell and made an appointment for a second session.

Five days later, she came back, a totally changed person. She was relaxed, smiling, and very open.

"I don't know what happened, but there is no anger", she said, stunned. "No anger, I cannot believe it!" I asked about the viciousness of the government, but she just shrugged it off. "For the first time, I felt hurt, and not angry when I thought of my mother. This has never, ever happened in my whole life!"

Now I was smiling too, and explained that EFT sometimes works with delay, although I had never experienced it in this dramatic way.

We decided to take on her driver's license. Since Margaret did not have the sex change surgery, she is, legally, considered a male. The big "M" in her driver's license is a daily source of anxiety, fear, and terror for her (a 10 on a scale of 0 to 10).

Even though my driver's license is a real threat, like a Grizzly bear in the woods, waiting to pounce...

Even though I am in serious danger as soon as somebody sees this "M"...

Even though I feel this immediate physical threat when somebody sees this "M" , it's a matter of life and death...

Even though it is so humiliating when people call me "Sir" as soon as they see the "M"...

After just a few rounds of tapping, I asked Margaret to take the driver's license into her hands and look at it. She did - and there was silence. "Look at the "M", I said."What do you feel?"

Margaret laughed. "I don't feel anything about it, nothing. It's just a letter, like a P, or an L..." What a relief!

However, a different aspect came up: Margaret's concern that she would lose her alertness to real danger if she wasn't angry anymore. I suggested that she could be even more alert if these angry feelings didn't cloud her judgment, and reminded her that masters in the martial arts, who are extremely alert at all times, are never angry. Margaret liked that idea, and so we tapped on this concern until it dropped way down.

Recently, Margaret came to see me again. She just had gone to the Emergency Room with symptoms of a heart attack. Fortunately, her heart was o.k. However, the whole hospital experience had been extremely scary for her; the feelings of fear and terror were so intense that I calmed her down by holding her forehead and the back of her head between the palms of my hands, and then I tapped on her.

Margaret reported that the staff in the hospital had been unbelievably insensitive or even downright hostile towards her as a transgendered person. There was only one nurse who was nice and understanding - she had assisted in transgender surgery. Talking about that, Margret's feelings turned into intense anger.

Even though these highly trained doctors don't even know that people like me exist, and that ignorance is outrageous...

Even though the nurse from hell taking my blood pressure hurt me intentionally..

Even though they parked me in a hall way and left me there for hours, and all the men passing by gave me hostile looks...

Even though my anger at these "trained professionals" is like a black vampire...

It took many rounds, but slowly Margret relaxed, and we even started to joke about the hospital. However, Margaret is very aware that there is no lasting peace for her and other transgenders in an intolerant world. Thank God she now has EFT to ease the pressure and pain.

Carna Zacharias-Miller is an EFT International Certified Advanced EFT practitioner in Tucson, Arizona. Her specialties are working with people who grew up in dysfunctional families, www.MissingMother.com, and introducing EFT into the dance community. Carna's new blog, www.sacredquestforlove, explores the spiritual side of emotions. You can also find her books on the site, The Way of the Ugly Duckling and, for dancers, It Takes Two To Tango.

From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on January 31, 2010.