Sometimes, the most mundane occurrences in life light up for us and take on a very personal meaning. If that happens, it can be a great opportunity to do EFT on issues that might have escaped our attention otherwise.
For me, it was a bee. The bee had come into my office somehow and now tried to get out – through the closed window. It was buzzing loudly and bumping against the glass over and over again. The buzzes got louder, the bumping (doesn’t that hurt?) got more intense. Of course, I have seen that before, who hasn’t. However, this time it became a “waking dream” for me, this moment of heightened awareness. Since the window is screened, I could not just open it. So I got a little ziplock bag and tried to catch the bee in order to carry it to the balcony and set the insect free. It wasn’t easy. The bee, of course, did not understand that a higher intelligence (at least in these circumstances) was about to save its life and resisted fiercely. Finally I succeeded, and the bee was freed.
This could have been it: my little good deed for the day. But it wasn’t. The behavior of the bee made me feel strangely uncomfortable. Isn’t that what I do often too? Bumping again and again into the same wall, stubbornly doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results (which is the definition of insanity according to Einstein - who should know).
So I decided to write down, rapidly, a little list of areas in my life that resembled the bee’s behavior in some way. I instantly came up with 7 items! Not all of them big, but each of them could use some change of approach.
I picked one issue for doing EFT that had been bothering me for a while. It was my reaction to a friend who recently was diagnosed with an illness (not life threatening) and did not handle it well at all. She lives in another country, and we have frequent and long phone conversations. Since the diagnosis our calls had become very unpleasant for me. Endless wailing and whining (“Why me?”) mixed with resentment and bitterness (“I don’t deserve this!”), and no opening whatsoever for gaining a higher perspective. I had started dreading her calls, clenching my teeth when she was talking and giving rather harsh advice. (Tapping while she was talking did not help.) I was stuck, repeating the same response over and over.
So, after the bee incident and putting this issue on my list, I started tapping.
Even though she is whiny and wimpy and downright enjoys sitting in a black hole, and it drives me crazy, and I really don’t want to talk to her anymore - this is what I feel.
Even though she is a spoiled little girl just crying for attention and has no idea what other people go though with much more serious health issues, and that makes me feel resentful - I accept every part of me.
Even though I fee like an idiot because she just uses me, and I feel dismissed because she does not want to hear what I have to say although I know so much and I could really help her - I am still a wise woman and a good practitioner.
Wow! I had not been aware how deep that went and how angry I was. So I tapped several rounds until the intensity went from an 8 to a 3. I now understood that it really has been shocking to her to be confronted with this, there was physical pain involved, and she did not need me to educate her but just to listen.
Then I called her and asked how she was doing. Well! She was a changed woman. Very calm, reasonable and rational, not a spot of self-pity. She is still not open to tapping or any other self-awareness method, but she never was. (What I love about her is her big, warm heart and her acute sense of humor.)
This proves again that EFT works in mysterious ways – and that we should pay attention to the little things in our lives because they can carry big messages.
P.S. Moving on to the other points on my list…
Carna Zacharias-Miller is an EFT International Certified Advanced EFT practitioner in Tucson, Arizona. Her specialties are working with people who grew up in dysfunctional families, www.MissingMother.com, and introducing EFT into the dance community. Carna's new blog, www.sacredquestforlove, explores the spiritual side of emotions. You can also find her books on the site, The Way of the Ugly Duckling and, for dancers, It Takes Two To Tango.
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally posted on January 30, 2011.