What Happened
It’s the annual University Boat Race: Oxford v Cambridge. But what a fiasco! A promising, evenly matched first half is stopped in its tracks by a protester in the water mid-stream, there’s a clash of blades on the re-start in which Oxford loses an oar, and it ends with an exhausted, unconscious Oxford bowman being whisked off to hospital overnight.
How I Responded
With one promising career behind me prematurely stopped in its tracks, then years of chronic illness, then setting out expectantly on another, the sequence unfolding onscreen as I watch on television too closely resembles events in my own life – or rather my perceptions and fears around them. It profoundly unsettles me and I know I am over-reacting: have never had to leave the room before! But it also gives me the perfect opportunity, metaphors, insights and lead-ins for processing them. So I head out for a tapping walk.
My Tapping Walk: Some Key Phrases and Specific Fears Exposed
Even though they were stopped in their tracks… (well qualified, rowing well, in a very professional race, they had trained hard, sacrificed much, expected to achieve great things...), stopped because of someone else’s foolish and stupid actions… through no fault of their own… and I can identify with all that, that was me... my career... my life...
Even though they were given a second start, but that went seriously wrong… they clashed blades… Oxford broke an oar... and that completely scuppered their chances of success... they were dis-abled..., and I’ve been given a second chance... and I’m afraid of that going wrong...
Even though the umpire maybe shouldn’t have restarted the race and then he didn’t intervene over the clash of blades... he judged it was their fault... it all seems so unfair...
Even though he judged that they were encroaching on their competitors’ water... and I fear that criticism too… and it cost them the race...
Even though the Oxford cox was warned… so it was deemed to be her fault*… she was steering their boat… but she misjudged it… too anxious to get them back on course?... she was supposed to be in control of their direction… so now they’ve brought this on themselves… and that’s an unpalatable thought... it meant they failed… what if I fail now?... with my second chance... and what if I make a bad decision?... and bring failure on myself... it’s an unpalatable thought...
Even though it was a female cox who was steering Oxford’s boat... and I’m identifying with her... female... Oxford... at the helm of my own boat/race/future...
Even though the bowman was exhausted and had to be carried off to hospital because of his low body mass index… he had no reserves to cope with the changed, disrupted conditions (two ‘sprints’ instead of one long race, half an hour cramping up and getting cold waiting for the second half, choppy water after all the motorised vessels had turned around and back-tracked)… and I’m identifying with him too… that’s me... low BMI... no reserves of energy... what if I relapse?... I absolutely don’t want to relapse... to be so ill again...
*The aspect that sickened me most; at this point I could no longer bear to watch.
Sheer tapping gold – and a long but lucrative walk!
Postscript: How It Helped/What I Got Out Of It
I returned from the walk with my equilibrium restored, the over-the-top emotion safely discharged, and my current concerns brought into conscious awareness and now also clearly identified.
There is something about the physicality of movement – walking – that I find really enhances the process when tapping for oneself. Hidden or buried blocks and fears can more readily bubble to the surface and, when I know what they are, then I can address them. Once eliminated, neutralised or brought down to size, new ideas, solutions or next steps can begin to present themselves – or perhaps I recognise that they were there all along! I am again able to make rational choices and decisions, to reclaim my power – no longer at the mercy of my fears.
I love the way that metaphors speak to me too, how they mirror aspects of my life, tease me, or help me see things for what they are. There were countless valuable reframes for me from this boat race, eg there may well be obstacles, interruptions, unfair decisions, poor judgements (mine and others), false starts, delays, accidents, injuries and illness: they can all feature in everyday life! But the important thing is that, despite setbacks, the task/course/journey can still be undertaken and completed: the crew all survived, they remained focused, their training stood them in good stead, they retained control of their boat and overall direction, they kept moving forwards and they reached their destination. It just took a bit longer. (They even went on to achieve greater things.) And so can I.
One of the benefits of keeping a journal is the additional insights that it can provide, eg I realised later that a tapping session a few days before the boat race – which had not seemed particularly enlightening at the time – had actually ‘primed’ my subconscious perfectly for this extremely productive tapping event. Without any record, it is all too easy to fail to remember or notice, to dismiss or take for granted such apparently insignificant yet contributory steps – a phenomenon we refer to as the Apex Effect.
Over the ensuing weeks and months I was able to continue to process the specific fears that had come to light. I noticed also that, e.g. I completed easily an outstanding assignment for a qualification, and I took my first steps in a new chapter of work. That was such a joy!
Whilst it could be misleading to claim that any given self-tapping session is life-changing, nevertheless such sessions can be pivotal. This one launched me with a renewed sense of purpose and understanding on a fresh trajectory, one that continues to unfold and develop today.
As in steering any boat, it need only take small tweaks of the tiller to adjust a course or even to head for a completely different destination. We rarely need to make big changes all at once. But if we keep responding to the ‘gold’ revealed through routine self-tapping sessions we, like the boat race crew, can also keep moving onwards with confidence – whatever ‘surprises’ life may have for us along the way ☺
Hilary Jones is an EFT International Accredited Certified Trainer NQT based in the UK. Visit Hilary's EFT International profile
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