Is Self-Care Selfish?

The theme for this month’s newsletter comes from a previous edition where I spoke about how when things are in chaos around us, peace starts within ourselves.

And this then posed the question, is it selfish to care for my own wellbeing when I see so much harm around me?  Is self-care selfish?

People can sometimes feel guilty when they look after themselves when other people are suffering.  Somehow, it seems to go against the grain.

Strengthening Our Capacity To Serve

I struggled with this myself recently.  A couple of health issues raised their head and  I realised that I had been ignoring my own needs; I hadn’t been listening to the cues that my body was sending me, and then it all became too much.

We have all heard the air stewards say, put your own oxygen mask on first before tending to others.  Because when we are in stress, it diminishes our ability to help others and we may not be able to be present in the way we would want to.

The first step for me was to reach out and ask for help and I worked with an EFT Practitioner.  For me, this is so important because in the past I would have been the type of person who had always tried to do everything myself.

However, it was so helpful to have someone guide me through all of this, and gave me the space to do tapping for myself.

What I realised is that self-care doesn’t mean that I am ignoring others' problems.  It is strengthening my capacity to serve.

Also, emotions are contagious, and when we radiate an inner state that is calm, we send calming ripples out.

A good measure for yourself might be to say the statement: 'I feel guilty caring for myself' – as a starting point.  Then rate the intensity.  You may be surprised at how strong this feels.  Is it time for you to ask for help and to start to take better care of yourself?

You may think that you can’t stop because people are depending on you.  Consider the opposite; you MUST stop because people are depending on you.

The reality is that the better our emotional well-being, the more we are going to be able to care for others. And therefore self-care is not selfishness at all.