It's scary to change.
I'm not like this with my friends”
"I'm so happy and chilled with my friends”
When a 17 year-old girl in her home is
“The moody one’, “the bad tempered one”, “the one with a grumpy face”...
That becomes the space she occupies.
She comes to see you because she wants to change.
But it is scary.
It really is !!!! Because 'moody' etc. has become her identity at home, and changing identity is scary.
These are some of her thoughts:-
How will my sisters react if they see me relaxed and talkative;
"What will they think?”
“I just can’t be chilled at home - it's not me - it's too frightening “
It’s necessary and important to acknowledge that.
Acknowledge her bravery; acknowledge her innate desire to be confident and feel good.
And not only is it scary; it has become a habit.
The original reason for the 'moody' or the 'unhappy' has gone, but the behaviour remains because it’s become a habit.
Even explaining that mum has sent her to therapy because she wants her to change doesn’t help her to see it differently. Giving logical explanations such as "mum would love to see her happy" doesn’t help. It's not where healing occurs.
And then she says to me:-
Can we tap on my scary feelings?”
Wow! How wonderful and brave!
I am in awe of my clients sometimes.
Pearl is an EFT Master Trainer and Advanced Practitioner. She is passionate about unlocking the potential in healers and therapists to become amazing EFT Practitioners. Helping the helpers to create transformation in their clients.
Image by Paolo Amaral from Pixabay