Excellence in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Since 1999
  • Login


  • signup now | forgot password?
  • Join!
  • language select Language or Country
    • Arabic – بالعربية
    • Deutsch
    • Español
    • Farsi - فارسی
    • Français
    • Australia
    • India
    • Italy - Italian
    • Netherlands - Nederlands
    • New Zealand & Oceania
    • South East Asia
  • Contact
  • Search

EFT International

Advancing EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Worldwide Since 1999

eft international world map
  • Home
  • About Us
    • About EFT International™
    • Media Resources
    • Meet the Teams
    • Policies and Procedures
    • Contact EFTi for Information and Support
  • Discover EFT
    • Find an EFT Practitioner or Mentor
    • What is EFT Tapping?
    • EFT Articles
    • Science & Research
    • Free EFT Manual
    • Audios & Books
  • EFT Training
    • EFT Trainings & Events
    • Training Overview
    • Getting Started
    • Training Levels
    • Accredited Certification
  • Membership Info
    • Join EFT International
    • Membership Levels & Fees
    • Membership FAQs
    • Transfer to EFTi
    • About Accreditation

My Favorite EFT Question

By: Betty Moore-Hafter
Categories: All Tutorials, EFT Strategies, EFT Training Resources, EFTfree Archives

Startup Stock Photos

As EFT practitioners or guides, it is important for us to listen carefully and ask the right questions. My favorite question -- is not a question! It's actually a request and it's only three words:

Tell me more.

It is amazing what happens when you simply create a space for someone to talk and be listened to. Instead of quickly filling that space with our own thoughts about what they have said, or even immediately bringing in tapping, we can simply request, "Tell me more." And then give the person the gift of really listening. It will take your tapping to a deeper level.

We are of course here to bring tapping to the problem they have. But if you take the time to really hear the other person and help them go deeper with my favorite little question, then when you do zero in to tap, you will understand things better and be more clear about what to tap for. And you will already have a deeper connection with the person you are helping. We so rarely get that gift of really being listened to.

Deep Listening

Someone gave me a tip recently for deep listening. She said, "when you feel that urge to comment or respond from your own point of view, take a deep breath… and send that energy down inside, transforming it into presence." It works! And when I'm very present, it's easy to allow that space and honor a person's sharing with interest and curiosity. "Tell me more…. can you tell me more about that?… is there anything else?"

I once was seeking a counselor or therapist for some personal help. I identified several who looked good and contacted them, asking if I could meet with them for 15 minutes to sit down with them and see if it was a match. Those who weren't open to that were immediately off my list! I remember one therapist who seemed really warm and caring on the phone, but when we met he only listened to me for a few minutes before he started telling me what he thought the problem was! I walked out shaking my head. He didn't even know me. Another got out a sheet of paper and drew a chart and began to plug me into her system. Oh dear.

Finally I was sitting with someone who simply listened. Who didn't presume he knew more about me than I knew about myself. Who gave me the space to explore my own thoughts and feelings. I ended up spending several years with this wonderful helper, and what I experienced in receiving deep listening is one of the inspirations for my own work.

A Tip

As an EFT Trainer, I have the wonderful privilege of helping people get certified in EFT and supporting them as they develop as EFT Practitioners. One of the great insecurities is, "What if I get stuck? What if I don't know what to do?" Here's my tip: use my favorite question! I literally tell clients, "you know, I'm not sure where to go next or what to tap for. Can you just tell me a little bit more about ___?"

In recent sessions, a person who was upset with her sister for taking her for granted… discovered that her real pain was feeling disconnected from her sister. A person who had been indignant at a co-worker's comment… discovered that her real issue was feeling not-good-enough. Someone who was frustrated with herself for procrastinating on an important task… discovered that her true feeling was paralyzing fear of being judged and criticized. All because I requested, "tell me more." People don't know what they know. But when given the attention of a listening presence, they will discover more and more as they have the chance to become present for themselves and listen within themselves in the space that you hold for them.

A related tip is one I've picked up from Terry Gross of NPR's Fresh Air. She is the best interviewer! What she brings out of her guests is amazing and she often does it with one simple question, "What's it like for you to…" And the question is based on the careful listening she has done so far. Such questions as, "what's it like for you to play a role in this film that is so different from your real personality?" Or, "what was it like for you to be a reporter in that war zone, witnessing those traumatic things you've written about?" This is another great way to open the door for them to tell you more.

The Keys Are Within

It is one of my deepest beliefs that the keys to our healing are within each of us. When we tap for an issue, we are helping those truths emerge. Tapping itself can be a form of deep listening, don't you think? I know tapping stirs things up. After a tapping round, it's great to ask, "What's coming up?" And then, instead of immediately tapping for what came up, try allowing a little more space. "Anything else?" Or, "I wonder what that's about. Can you say some more about it?"

Or, very simply, "Tell me more."


Betty Moore-Hafter is an EFT International Accredited Certified EFT Master Trainer of Trainers and Advanced Practitioner offering EFT Level 1-2 and Level 3 Trainings several times a year as well as mentoring for practitioner candidates. She offers EFT sessions by phone and by Skype, as well as in person at her Burlington, Vermont office. Find out more at www.CreativeEFT.com. She also offers a special Mentoring and Certification program at www.EmotionalFreedomMastery.com.

From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on Jun 29, 2014.

Comments

  1. Edith Lambert says

    25 October, 2016 at 2:37 pm

    Thank you Betty!

    Reply

Share Your Comments & Feedback Cancel reply

Search EFT Articles

Browse Articles by Category:

  • Areas of EFT Practice (356)
    • Abundance (9)
    • Abuse (4)
    • Addictions (16)
    • ADHD (1)
    • Aging (7)
    • Ancestral issues (1)
    • Anger (15)
    • Animals (21)
    • Anxiety (40)
    • Business Success (11)
    • Caregiving (2)
    • Children (20)
    • Dentistry (1)
    • Exhaustion (1)
    • Families & Parenting (18)
    • Fear (32)
    • Grief and Loss (21)
    • Insomnia (2)
    • Law of Attraction (9)
    • LGBTQ+ Issues (1)
    • Motivation (11)
    • Peak Performance (23)
    • Phobias (13)
    • Physical Issues (93)
      • Accidents (4)
      • Allergies (5)
      • Cravings (14)
      • Infertility (1)
      • Pain (14)
      • Serious Disease (14)
      • Skin (1)
      • Weight and Fitness (36)
    • Procrastination (2)
    • Relationships (29)
      • Racial issues (1)
    • Self Care (13)
    • Self-Acceptance (43)
    • Self-Sabotage (1)
    • Sexual issues (1)
    • Spirituality & Metaphysics (10)
    • Stress (28)
    • Suicide (1)
    • Trauma (81)
  • Community News (6)
  • EFT Training Resources (263)
    • All Tutorials (68)
    • Borrowing Benefits (4)
    • Complex Issues (38)
    • Core EFT Skills (64)
    • Core Issues (24)
    • EFT Strategies (113)
    • Geo-Specific EFT (4)
    • Inner Child EFT (25)
    • Inner Visuals (18)
    • Mentoring (2)
    • Reversals (23)
    • Surrogate Tapping (26)
  • EFTfree Archives (302)
  • Ethics (2)
  • Featured (4)
  • Integrated EFT (70)
    • Acupuncture (3)
    • Affirmations (16)
    • Emergency EFT (3)
    • Matrix ReImprinting (12)
    • Spanish Language (7)
  • Linked Articles or Events (24)
    • EFT in the News (10)
  • Natural Disasters (5)
  • Racial issues (1)
  • The Science Behind EFT (20)
Join Our Community Newsletter

Contact

Please use the contact page to select which department you would like to reach.

EFT International
John Greenway Building
John Greenway Close
Tiverton, Devon, EX16 6QF
United Kingdom

Our Mission

EFT International (EFTi) is a voluntary, not-for-profit association: A UK Registered Charitable Incorporated Organisation (CIO), registered charity number 1176538.

EFT International is committed to advancing and upholding the highest standards for education, training, professional development and promotion of the skilful, creative and ethical application of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques or "Tapping").

EFTi is a member of:

RCCM Logo
Integrated Healthcare logo

Quick Links

  • Contact, Help & Support
  • EFT International Volunteers
  • Membership FAQs
  • Policies & Procedures
  • EFT International Statute (Bylaws)
  • Privacy Policy
Languages & regions:
  • AR
  • DE
  • ES
  • FA
  • FR
  • AU
  • IN
  • IT
  • NL
  • NZ
  • HK,SP

© 2023 · EFT International (EFTi), UK registered charity number 1176538

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Accept AllCookie SettingsPrivacy Policy
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement1 yearSet by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category .
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
CookieLawInfoConsent1 yearRecords the default button state of the corresponding category & the status of CCPA. It works only in coordination with the primary cookie.
ts3 yearsPayPal sets this cookie to enable secure transactions through PayPal.
ts_c3 yearsPayPal sets this cookie to make safe payments through PayPal.
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
CookieDurationDescription
_gat1 minuteThis cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
CookieDurationDescription
_ga2 yearsThe _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors.
_gid1 dayInstalled by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously.
CONSENT2 yearsYouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
CookieDurationDescription
VISITOR_INFO1_LIVE5 months 27 daysA cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface.
YSCsessionYSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages.
yt-remote-connected-devicesneverYouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video.
yt-remote-device-idneverYouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
CookieDurationDescription
AKA_MVT_ID10 minutesNo description available.
SAVE & ACCEPT