Here are seven ways to keep your problem stuck:
1. Continue to think about it (the problem)
2. Think about how badly you messed up
3. Think about all the other times you messed up, too
4. Think about how you may be a messed-up person anyway
5. Think about all the bad feelings you have around this and other problems
6. Start to feel badly about yourself
7. Feel badly most of the time except when you shove your feelings down with eating, drinking, drugs, smoking, sex, gambling – you get the point.
Continue to think about the problem
All right, you messed up! Think about the problem or ask yourself what lessons you can learn from the mistake you made. You spent more money on ____ than you intended. Maybe you didn’t do your homework about this product, or check your budget to see if this expense fit in. Maybe you don’t have a budget. Here are the lessons from this way to keep the problem as you continue to think about it.
Think about how it could have been different. Write ways to stay within your budget or create your budget. Ask yourself how important was this purchase on a scale of 0 to 5 (5 being Verrrry important), how much could you have done without it (0 to 5 again) Come up with good answers that are honest and that you can trust and then accept your answer as your truth. Resolve to go through this process in the future.
Think about how badly you messed up
Okay, you beat yourself up nicely for messing up, you wish you wouldn’t have made this mistake. Again, ask yourself what lessons are here, glaring at you and asking you to notice and respond to. Here is a good time to do EFT around this and other mistakes, turning each into a lesson.
And here's what to do about it
Try this--say aloud, tapping on karate chop place:
Even though I wish I hadn’t bought this expensive TV (or whatever you did or bought) and I hate myself for dong this stupid thing, I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway.
Even though I know I messed up badly here and I’ve nobody to blame but myself, I now allow myself to receive the lessons I can learn and I accept these lessons right now.
Even though I do not like these lessons and I don’t want to face my truth, I can now appreciate the messages I am receiving and am willing to accept my behavior and I accept myself right now.
Round 1: (Tap inner eye, outer eye, etc.)
I’m upset with myself
• I shouldn’t have done that stupid act
• I don’t’ think I’ll forgive myself for doing that
• It causes me so much upset and aggravation
• Why did I do that?
• I deserve to beat myself up for this
• It isn’t the first time I did something this dumb
• I wonder if there are lessons I can learn from this
Maybe I’ll ease up on myself
• Maybe I can let go of some of my anger and take a clear look at myself
• Maybe I’ll benefit from lessons learned here
• I can focus on the positives of this problem
• I can appreciate how I am willing to make some changes
• I like knowing that I can change my energy here
• It feels good to allow the shift in energy to change my feelings
• I like knowing that I can move forward and take good action for myself
Nancy Polites, MSS, LCSW, EFT-ADV
Tequesta, Florida, US
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on June 30, 2012.