Tapping Gently: Meeting Yourself Where You Are in EFT

When working with trauma, there’s an important principle I learned from Craig Weiner and Suzanne Fageol during their Tapping out of Trauma course: we can only go as fast as the slowest part of us feels safe going. This means that in EFT, we should never force ourselves to push through emotional resistance. Instead, the process works best when we meet every part of ourselves exactly where it is, without bypassing or overriding any part that feels hesitant, scared, or resistant.

Sneaking Up to Avoid Bypass

Let’s say you want to tap on a particularly intense memory, but the mere thought of working on this memory makes you want to get up and run away. Rather than using willpower to force yourself to confront it, why not meet that part of you where it’s at? This is where EFT’s Sneaking Up technique can be especially useful. You could say something like: “Even though just thinking about working on this makes a part of me want to get up and run away, this is just where I’m at right now.” By doing this, you acknowledge the part of yourself that feels unsafe, which can help it feel more relaxed. You don’t have to bypass or ignore it, and EFT becomes a gentler process.

Now, let’s say you begin working on the memory, and you notice another part of you thinking, “It’s so lame to have all these feelings about this.” Rather than bypassing that feeling, you can “give it the microphone” and treat it as the next layer to tap on. You might say: “Even though as I notice these feelings, there’s a part of me that thinks it’s lame to have them, and feels angry about this, this is just where I’m at right now.”

Allowing the Process to Naturally Unfold

Again, by tapping on this part of you, you’re helping it feel heard and relaxed, and it no longer needs to be bypassed. After doing that, you can return to tapping on the original memory, feeling safer and more grounded. Remember, EFT isn’t about using willpower or pushing yourself through emotional resistance. Instead, it’s about creating a space where every part of you feels safe and acknowledged. By meeting yourself exactly where you are—whether it’s with fear, anger, shame, or frustration—you allow the process to unfold naturally, without force.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

Bruno Sade is an Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner

Photo by Alex Bertha on Unsplash