The Art and Science of Tapping with Children – Part Two

In Part One of this article on tapping with children, I shared good reason for EFTi's position:

"It is important to realise that children are not just small adults, ... Unless the practitioner is otherwise qualified to work with children, such work should be undertaken with great caution, if at all." (EFTi Code of Conduct and Ethics, 2021).

Now let’s consider the research.

The Science of Tapping with Children

Despite many success stories of tapping with children and despite growing research, I have been unable to find any studies on EFT with children that track physiological markers in the children. Why is that so important?

Decades ago in creating the gold standard in measuring attachment, a procedure called the Strange Situation, researchers tracked physiological markers in babies who appeared calm in a stressful situation. The researchers tracked heart rate, skin temperature and cortisol levels. They discovered that these babies – who appeared relaxed while playing with blocks – actually had a "physiological storm raging inside" (Bethany Saltman, Strange Situation). It was then that they understood how, from an extremely young age, children can suppress their biological needs, and appear calm and relaxed when in fact the opposite is true.

If we relied on anecdotal 'evidence', we'd believe the earth is flat. Consider the science. Until we have substantial research on EFT with children – research that considers the attachment effect, research that tracks physiological markers as well as the longitudinal effect on the developing brain – for evidence-based application of EFT with children, the sciences of attachment and development need to be considered.

A Practice for Tapping with Children

So how to best share tapping with children? I outlined in part one of this article that role modeling can work wonders. Otherwise, simply introducing the points with a regular tapping practice together is plenty for children.

Here’s a rhyme I wrote to share the tapping points with young children through play:

Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap on my head just like that.
>Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap on my eyebrows just like that.
>Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap side of eyes just like that.
>Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap under eyes just like that.
>Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap under nose just like that.
>Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap on my chin just like that.
>Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap on my chest just like that. (collarbone points)
Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I tap on my side just like that. (spleen points)
(Dancing finger tips together)
Pitter patter pitter patter tip tip tap, I’m feeling much better… (build suspense with an eager look) … Just like THAT (snap fingers and beam).

Attachment, Emotions, Rest and Play

Remember (from part one) the four irreducible needs of the child: attachment, emotions, rest and play. Tend to those needs in that order and tapping will flow naturally, and look different for each child moment to moment; it’s about being with. Attuned, secure presence will inform your tapping process – that can mean tapping together with anything from crayons to clouds.

Circle Of Security (COS) International offers an evidence-based parenting program based on decades of research. COS doesn’t teach parenting strategies, it helps parents to recognize their own ‘shark music’, the lens through which they perceive their child, and to understand children’s true needs; COS addresses the relationship to inform parents’ approach.

If you wanted to make a plant grow, would you pull on it or tend to its growing conditions? No matter the age of the child, from newborn to adulthood, respect the developing brain and preserve their biological need for connection – secure connection with a grown up is a child's answer for regulation and the development of emotional intelligence, resilience and self-esteem.

Additional Resources

In short, keep doing your own tapping and share tapping with those who have children in their lives. If you have littles in your life, turn to your village for support so you can model self-regulation and be a beacon of secure presence for co-regulation.

I recommend further exploration of any or all of the following resources:
• The Harvard Centre for the Developing Child
• Circle of Security International
• The Neufeld Institute
• Dr. Gordon Neufeld's book, co-written with Dr. Gabor Mate, Hold on to Your Kids
• The University of Alberta's Brain Story, a free online training on brain development
• Dr. Greer Kirshenbaum’s book, The Nurture Revolution
• Dr. Vanessa Lapointe's books, Discipline Without Damage and Parenting Right from the Start
• Dr. Deb MacNamara's books, Rest Play Grow and Nourished
• Dr. Diane Poole Heller’s book, The Power of Attachment
• DARe Training, Dynamic Attachment Repatterning experience which is somatic experiencing through the lens of attachment, developed by Dr. Diane Poole Heller

Wildflower is an Accredited Certified Advanced EFT Practitioner

Photo by Robert Collins on Unsplash