The Woman Who Fell Down the Hole

The Story

The Woman Who Fell Down the Hole is a story about how we repeat the same pattern of stress, overwhelm & exhaustion over & over.  Until we become aware of it and consciously change our thoughts & beliefs to create harmony for ourselves, our home, our work and our families. This is an adaptation of a story I read in the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying by Sogyal Rinpoche.

Chapter 1

Once upon a time, a woman walks down a street and there is a deep hole in the pavement.
She was juggling so many balls that she doesn’t see it and falls in.
She feels frustrated, lost and hopeless.
It isn’t her fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter 2

The next day, she walks down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the pavement.
She pretends she can’t see it coming.
She falls in again.
Unable to believe she’s in the same place.  Hoping things would turn out differently this time.
She is frustrated at her family, friends, colleagues and life!
She is trying to please everyone while listening to her own needs. Running on empty, wanting quality time with her family or friends, making her home nice, catching up with work and having time out but somehow it never turns out that way.
It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter 3

The next day she walks down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the pavement.
She sees it is there.
She still falls in!…It’s a habit. It’s the story of her life.
She tries all sorts of different things, such as yoga or getting a massage.  But still life continues in an annoying and uncomfortable repetitive pattern of never having enough time, energy or patience for family, work, home and herself.
She falls in.  Her eyes wide open.
She knows where she is.
And knows it’s her fault.
She remembers the way out and gets out.

Chapter 4

The next day she walks down the same street.
There is a deep hole in the pavement.
She sees it. Maybe she does some EFT!
She walks around it.

Chapter 5

She walks down another street.

Can you relate to this story?

I can myself and I know many women who can. As humans we tend to repeat the same patterns over and over until we get the message and change our behaviour. Einstein said that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result. When we walk down the same street over and over without looking where we are going, because our minds are cluttered with to do lists. Worrying about what we can rustle up for dinner. Trying to remember if we locked the front door this morning.  It is understandable that we won’t be able to see the hole in the pavement.

Good news!

The good news is that EFT can help you to:
• become aware of the hole (AKA negative patterns in your life)
• have compassion for yourself when you fall down the hole (because you will!)
• clear your mind so that you can recognise the strategies for getting out of the hole
• get out of the hole more quickly than you would have been able to otherwise
• release the limiting beliefs and behaviours that are causing you to fall down the hole in the first place
• avoid the hole
• walk down another street!

Sarah, a regular EFTer, shared this in my facebook group a while ago:

Goodness, I nearly fell into the hole of not tapping today - I am too busy!!! Then I thought, NO I am too busy NOT to tap! After the tapping I am now so ramped up to crack on I can hardly sit still long enough to type this so excuse my brevity! buzzing buzzing buzzing. I love tapping."

Make EFT your habit

As an EFT trainer, I teach many practitioners who have great results with their clients but forget to tap on themselves. You need to put on your own oxygen mask.

Firstly, set aside few minutes every day to do 1-5 minutes of EFT (out of the 1440 minutes per day). If you wake up exhausted because your to-do list keeps you up, or you are anxious about the day ahead, this is the perfect way to change your energy. The ideal time to do this is as soon as you wake up before you spiral into negativity.

If you have no time, tap in the loo or in the shower. If you take the train to work, tap on the train – many of my clients swear by this as a way of clearing the carriage and getting a seat!!!  (If you don't wish to be seen tapping, there are always the finger points).

Next get tapping.

What shall I tap on?”

I hear you ask. If you are feeling less than good, tap on that reason. Eg tiredness, anxiety, not having enough time etc.. One round of tapping will not make the problem disappear, but it will help you to feel better in the moment. It might stop you from being impatient with your child or snapping at a colleague. If you wake up feeling good, tap on what you would like to feel more of. Eg more energy, love, joy etc.

Tap every day

Tapping every day for a minute or more, is a great way of setting yourself up for a fulfilling day ahead.

When you forget, and you will (just like falling down the hole in the story), don’t let that stop you from continuing the next day. When you forget, what you tell yourself about forgetting is the problem rather than the fact you forgot. Here are some common self-attacks:

I always give up.”
“Its another piece of proof that I’m not good enough”
“What is the point of trying anything new anyway”

Instead of giving us, tap on the fact that you forgot. For example:

Even though I always give up and here I am doing it again, I am noticing my behaviour and choosing to have compassion for myself ”.

Good luck with your daily tapping, and your self-compassion when you forget.

Tamara Donn

Tamara is an Accredited Trainer, Practitioner and Mentor from Hertfordshire, UK.  Her specialties include work with parenting, birth and infertility.