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“They’re Just Stupid Boys”: An Inner Child Healing Story

By: Betty Moore-Hafter | 16 July, 2011
Categories: Addictions, Inner Child EFT, Weight and Fitness

"Julie" came to me for weigh and eating issues. She had been working with a book on ending food addiction (author: Kay Sheppard) and had determined that one of the emotional drivers for her was, as she put it, "Not-Good-Enough Pain."

Because I was in the process of preparing to teach EFT Levels 1-2, I was especially aware of the basic core concepts. So I talked with Julie about how "not good enough" was like a big forest with many individual trees (specific events) or like a tabletop with many legs supporting that table. Would she be open to working with some specific events from the past in order to bring healing to this core belief? She agreed.

We had already done some tapping for the emotions around this. I then asked her to close her eyes and tune in to that "not good enough" feeling. "Just let your mind be open to finding one of the early times that you felt this. What other time does this feeling remind you of?" She said, "I don't know why this is coming up, but I just remembered being on the monkey bars on the playground, I was probably about 5 years old, and this boy Ricky, who was always mean to me, came up and made fun of me. He had his friends with him, and they called me Little Miss Piggy, Pig Nose." She was amazed to find tears coming.

People are often surprised at how much pain can still be in these seemingly insignificant childhood memories. I asked Julie to make a small movie of this event -- how long would it be? Only a few minutes. I asked her the title. She said, Little Miss Piggy, Pig Nose. The title was a 10 in intensity for her, so we began by simply tapping for the title:

Even though I have this Little Miss Piggy, Pig Nose movie, I love and accept myself
Even though I have this Little Miss Piggy, Pig Nose movie, I love and accept my little girl self -- that really hurt my feelings...

It took several rounds of tapping for "this Little Miss Piggy, Pig Nose movie," but the effect was dramatic. The tears that initially came with these words subsided quickly. After three rounds, the intensity of the title had mostly been released, from a 10 to a 4 down to a 1 or 2.

I then asked Julie to narrate the movie, beginning before the upsetting part. "I'm climbing on the monkey bars... I'm swinging from my arms... I'm having a good time... now I see the mean boy coming...he's walking over with his friends." I stopped her -- "Any intensity?" Surprisingly, she said, "No!"

She continued. "Now he's coming over and saying to his friend, 'hey look, there's Little Miss Piggy, Pig Nose!" I stopped her again -- "Any intensity?" Again, "No!"

"So what happens next?" I asked. Julie then said something totally unexpected: "Well, I just keep swinging and I tell them that they're just stupid boys and that I don't care what they say! And I laugh at them!" We both laughed at the conviction in her voice -- she knew they were acting stupid and that it was not about her! She said, "I know that's not what really happened, but that's what I see in my movie now. All I can do is laugh at them. How stupid those dumb boys were! Picking on a little girl -- shame on them."

Apparently our work together on the title alone had completely cleared the trauma. I realized that the title she had chosen was the crescendo of the event. That might not always be a good idea, but in this case, it worked wonders. Those nasty words, which had hurt her so much as a little child, had been completely neutralized, and she could see the whole thing clearly and not take it personally anymore.

Just to be safe, I had Julie rewind and run the old movie in her mind, trying to stay with the scenario as it had really happened. She found that hard to do! She had trouble even imagining it and couldn't get back any pain -- even though 15 minutes before, she had been in tears.

We ended with a "power tapping" for the little girl inside her.

Even though those boys called me Miss Piggy, Pig Nose, so what? I don't care! They're just stupid boys!

As we tapped the points with "so what?" and "I don't care!" and "They're just stupid boys!" Julie was grinning. It felt great to empower her inner child to throw off the insult and put those boys in their place.

At the end of the session, Julie felt great. My hope is that this healing result will generalize into other places in childhood and beyond where Julie felt put down or insulted with regard to her appearance. She felt so much lighter and calmer at the end of the session, and she agreed that continuing to tap for those old wounds will really help her heal her issue of emotional eating.


Betty Moore-Hafter, www.CreativeEFT.com, is an EFT International Accredited Certified EFT Master Trainer of Trainers and Advanced Practitioner offering EFT Level 1-2 and Level 3 Trainings several times a year. She also offers a special EFT mentoring and support program for EFT International EFT certification at www.EmotionalFreedomMastery.com. Betty offers EFT sessions by phone and by Skype, as well as in person at her Burlington, Vermont office. You can find out more on both websites and pick up free gifts on each site.

From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on July 16, 2011.

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