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Common questions about Surrogate EFT
Some of the most common questions I get asked on a regular basis are about Surrogate EFT, like
"How can I surrogate tap?"
"What is the best way to practice surrogate EFT?"
"Do I use the first person when tapping?"
"Do I imagine tapping on my child?"
"How can I tap for (name) while they are in hospital?"
"Do I imagine that I am the person I want to help when Tapping?"
"How can I surrogate tap for my client?"
And so on.
This topic also comes up regularly in our monthly Mentoring group that I have been facilitating since 2003. This article is in 3 parts (Part 1 is featured here) and outlines the Surrogate EFT process that I find most effective. It describes a non-scientific, fun experiment using this method, and how you can use this process for overcoming emotional issues about challenging EFT sessions.
Part 1 (of 3): 3 Simple Effective Steps for Surrogate EFT
Introduction
Having experimented with Surrogate EFT over the years, and come at it from so many angles, I now use a 3-step process which seems to be effective. It is simple and fairly quick to do. Once you get the hang of it, you can be creative, and it can be great fun. The more you do this, the more insights you will get, and your inner intuitive wisdom will love being heard.
Many of my clients ask me if this process requires clairvoyant skills; I reassure them that the process works better without the use of ‘telepathic powers’. It works on the understanding that we are ONE. The person that I am with, whether in my mind’s eye, physically, or on the phone, is connected to me - and me to them. This connection is via the air we breathe, via the energy that flows through both of us, and via the (conscious or unconscious) unconditional love that we share.
Should I ask permission to surrogate tap?
Sometimes clients, friends or family ask me to surrogate tap. In those instances, I can test the effectiveness of the tapping by asking 'before and after' questions, but there are times when I have surrogate tapped for a loved one, or a distressed child without their knowledge. When people ask me,
“Do I need to ask the person for their permission before surrogate tapping?”, I respond:
“Do you ask someone before you praise them or blame them? Is it OK for you to send someone your best wishes, your loving thoughts?”
The response you get to this question is the answer; it indicates what you need to do. I do not ask for permission to surrogate tap, but you may need to. I trust completely that what is in the best interest of the person happens anyway. I just get to be part of the journey, and for this I am truly GRATEFUL.
Here are the 3 steps:
Step 1: Tap on your own issues and feelings regarding the situation/person/child
This is to clear any resistance or disruptions in your own energy system - to surrogate tapping, to the situation, to the person. I have noticed that the most effective surrogate tapping happens when we have cleared our emotional disruptions around the issue. Once we are in a place of peace and calm about the person or issue, we can respond with clarity and deep intuition.
Our negative emotions, or the emotions of wanting to make things right, to be in control, anxiety about the issue, are like a fog that prevents us from accessing the light of intuition and understanding.
Whilst doing this, as you tune into your own feelings, notice if those feelings remind you of any specific event, or distressing memory. You can resolve these effectively using the movie technique. This will ensure that you can be objective when surrogate tapping.
Here are some examples of Tapping Setup statements you can begin with (the bold text would be the reminder tapping phrases):
Even though seeing ________ in pain is really hard for me, I feel helpless, powerless; I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though he/she is upset, they are suffering and there is little I can do, how can this tapping work, and it makes me feel _______, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though I feel so upset/ sad/ angry/ worried/ scared/ anxious about ______, I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
Even though he/she has this annoying habit/ they snore/ dribble/ repeat themselves.....and it distresses me, I feel so uncomfortable with it; I deeply and completely love and accept myself.
You can move onto the next step once you feel at peace with yourself in relation to the situation / person, child. It is very hard to help someone if you are feeling anxious. As my husband says:
"It is very hard to help a drowning person if you are drowning as well, and so first get out of the water and then you are in a great position to help someone else."
And sometimes, clearing your own emotions can be enough to empower someone else, or to perceive the change in someone else.
Step 2: Tap on the person’s issues and feelings, and anything else your intuition brings to your awareness
Once you feel clear, you can then tune into the person you would like to help. Tune in to all the things they have said, and your observations. Tune into your body and notice if you are experiencing any unusual symptoms.
You may be empathising and tuning into their underlying emotional drivers. You may be receiving information from Source (the higher consciousness) that is common to you both. You may even see an image of a specific event or distressing memory that is connected to the person you are tapping for.
If this happens then you can use the movie technique to resolve this. It is important to stay open in this step and just let it flow. After all, the other person need never know about your tapping statements.
Here are some examples of Tapping Setup statements (the bold text would be the reminder tapping phrases):
Even though ________ is feeling lost/angry/sad/ fearful/ in pain, I deeply and completely love and accept him/her/them.
Even though he/she has (describe all their symptoms in as much factual detail as possible, this you would have got from observing them and listening to them), I deeply and completely love and accept him/her/them.
Even though he/she is upset/ sad/ angry/ worried/ scared/ anxious about (whatever your intuition is showing you, you may get a movie title related to a distressing memory) I deeply and completely love and accept him/her/them.
Even though he/she is feeling (once again let your intuition guide you, there is no right and wrong, it is like stepping into someone else’s shoes and noticing what it feels like, is it too tight, too hard, lopsided...) I deeply and completely love and accept him/her/them.
Move onto the next step once you feel relaxed and ready to hand this situation over to a higher power. You will notice that the twinges that you were experiencing in your own body will have abated or dissolved. You will notice a deep sense of peaceful compassion begin to fill you. When you hold the person in your mind’s eye, you may see them differently now. If your perception of them is now positive and empowering, then the next step is a natural progression.
Step 3: Gratitude Tap while visualising that the person is supported, nurtured and taken care of by the universal forces of Love, Peace and Truth
In many spiritual traditions, gratitude is the highest vibration and is often the resonance that accompanies spontaneous healing and/or Self-Realisation. It feels natural that the third step of this process would be Gratitude Tapping. This automatically allows us to access the unlimited potential of trust and love.
By combining Gratitude Tapping with visualisation, we surrender (let go) of any personal agenda to an impersonal loving force to take over. By abdicating our personal agenda, we will have effectively opened the door to the many ways healing can manifest. I find this step liberating, not just because it reminds me that I am not in charge, but because it reminds me that magic is afoot, and love, truth and bliss are my true reality.
Here are some examples of Tapping Setup statements (the bold text would be the reminder tapping phrases):
Even though he/she/they have been scarred/scared...I can see them surrounded by love and light, I am sorry, forgive me, thank you, I love you, I am grateful to the energy of love and peace that fills him/her/them.
Even though they are feeling_______, Thank You God/ Universe/ Love/ Peace for supporting and nurturing them.
Even though that _______happened to them, I can see them surrounded by love and light, I am grateful to the energy of love and peace that fills us all.
Even though he/she/they have been scarred/scared...I can see them surrounded by love and light, I am grateful to the energy of love and peace that fills him/her/them.
By the end of this you may experience feeling uplifted. Be prepared for some interesting results.
Accredited Trainer, Practitioner and Mentor.
Ranjana is a holistic health professional, dedicated to emotional and spiritual freedom.
Marianne says
What a clearly explained, practical and helpful process. Many thanks! I can see how this could be used for people with dementia or people who are non-verbal.
Ranjana says
Oh yes Marianne, me and my students often use it in situations when someone is unable to articulate what is going on for them, or when it is unsafe for them to articulate what is going on for them. We have also shared it with clients whose family member is suffering from PTSD or in hospital and are sedated. (It was very useful during the pandemic) There was one occasion when a client used this with a family member that was dying, it was very touching, peaceful and liberating for both of them.
Ranjana Appoo says
Pleasure is all mine Luzia. Gratitude, Love and Blessings, Ranjana
Luzia says
This is going to be very. helpful for me because, I spend a lot of time in a different Country from my immediately family and loyal friends. I will be able to help them . Gratitude 🙏🏻