EFT is a wonderful tool when it comes to following a big dream, vision, or a major goal. There are so many people who don't dare, play it safe, and stay small. The reason for that is usually a host of limiting beliefs (" I'm not good enough") and negative emotions (embarrassment, fear).
Tapping can remove these blockages, restore the free flow of energy, and ignite the will to take inspired action.
This is the journey of a dancer. However, it applies to any "dreamer", be it an artist, scientist, athlete, healer, or other.
“Miriam” (37) is a successful financial advisor in Toronto. Little do her clients and co-workers know that she has a secret dream: To work professionally as a dance teacher, and to become the co-owner and manager of a dance studio (Ballet, Jazz, Tap Dancing, Step Dancing, Hip Hop).
Miriam has danced since she was 7 years old and participated as an amateur in showcases and competitions. She also put herself out as a teacher. While she is o.k. with her career in the financial field, she exclaims with much enthusiasm: “Dancing is my life!” So I ask her why she did not become a professional.
Miriam: “I thought I was not good enough. I was never the prima ballerina. Also, I was raised in the belief that dancing is a hobby, there is no money in it. My family wanted me to fit into a secure box, they never believed in me as an artist. So while I continued dancing, I shut this desire down. I am good at what I do, but it does not make me happy. However, the dream never died and came up recently with intensity: At a dress rehearsal, I was sitting on the stage and thought with sadness and deep longing: ‘This is my home, I want to be part of this world!’ I don’t need to be a prima ballerina to be a professional. It is time to be honest about my heart’s desire and have the courage to go after what I really want.”
I asked Miriam to define her dream precisely:
“I am the co-owner of a dance studio. While my partner tends more to the artistic side, I teach some classes, have a few private students, and handle the administrative and financial aspect of it.”
Being grounded in the reality of life (her background in financial planning is useful - nothing we learn is ever lost), Miriam has a solid business plan, and the money to back it up.
So what keeps her from doing it, where is the problem? When the blockages appear, the “good reasons” why a dream can’t possibly work out - that is where EFT can help immensely.
Even though I have this conflict about pursuing my dream, and it is stuck in my back, that is where I am at, and I deeply and completely love and accept myself anyway
Stuck in the past: I could not allow myself to be a professional dancer, I didn’t think I could get what I really, really wanted
I don’t get what I want, not me!
I don’t think I can get it now. I am too old, it’s too late, it’s just a whimsical idea. What if it doesn’t work out?
I could lose my money, I am scared, I need more training, I will ruin it
After we mentioned (and tapped on) her limiting beliefs, emotions and everything that could possibly go wrong, I asked Miriam what was coming up.
She said: “The little kid inside of me is jumping up and down and shouts: Yes, yes, yes! Let’s do it! Please! Let’s do it! Yes, yes, yes!” We laughed.
Then I probed into the deeper blockages that have kept Miriam from being who she truly is. She said it was her unhappy childhood. Miriam’s father had left the family when she was 9 years old. “It wasn’t so much the divorce itself, but my father had no emotional attachment to me and kicked me to the curb.” Miriam was left behind with an angry mother who did not want her daughter to be happy while she insisted on staying miserable herself all her life.
Even though my mother made me feel stupid with all my ”lofty” ideas that couldn’t possibly work out, I am willing to honor my dream now
This embarrassment, this shame, this sadness, this deep pain in my heart
This guilt when I feel bliss while dancing. I am not allowed to be happy, she just doesn’t tolerate that. I can’t take that risk.
This guilt, guilt, guilt, stuck in my back.
I open the door to healing and change now
I allow myself to dream big, and make this dream come true
I am ready for a breakthrough!
After several rounds of tapping, Miriam felt an energy shift in her back and much excitement about pursuing her dream actively. However, the issues with her negative, sabotaging mother and her cold, absent father are running deep, and so we decided doing more EFT sessions on that.
As a follow-up to pursuing her dream, I gave Miriam homework:
1. Keep track: Continue making a list of any “good reasons” (means excuses) that prevent you from making your dream a reality and keep tapping on them.
2. Take inspired action: Plug back fully into your dance community, educate yourself, practice, and keep your eyes open for the possible co-owner.
3. Maintenance: Don’t let your current job drain your energy. Tap on “stuff” that comes up around that.
4. Stay positive: Don’t tell people who won’t support you about your dream.
5. Go to the roots: Do more in-depth work about your childhood.
Carna Zacharias-Miller is an EFT International Certified Advanced EFT practitioner in Tucson, Arizona. Her specialties are working with people who grew up in dysfunctional families, www.MissingMother.com, and introducing EFT into the dance community. Carna's new blog, www.sacredquestforlove, explores the spiritual side of emotions. You can also find her books on the site, The Way of the Ugly Duckling and, for dancers, It Takes Two To Tango.
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on June 8, 2013