Have you ever tried to use a positive affirmation and just felt nauseated? Have you ever just wanted to give up on statements affirming something you want because you simply don't believe in it?
This happens a lot in my work. I often work with women and body image or beliefs about food and weight. This is an obvious place where switching gears into positivity about something you simply don't feel is very difficult.
However, we know now that our beliefs are absolutely creating at all times in our lives in every way, so they matter. They are significant. Affirmations are not only critical to success with goals, but I would argue are the reason we achieve anything at all. You see, everything we think or feel is affirming something. It is just that usually we are affirming something negative instead of positive on a daily basis and feeling pretty un-motivated by this.
The problem is that we can't force ourselves to believe if we simply don't. Just stating affirmations might help if we could do it enough but often we can't because we are using force and will-power.
I say no problem! We've got a powerful tool if we will use it to obliterate negative beliefs (or affirmations) so we can create something else. So how do we get started doing this?
1. State a specific and clear goal that you are wanting to achieve in the present tense and rate how positive you actually feel about achieving that goal or how achievable right now it feels to you.
Example of an affirmation stating a specific clear goal in the present tense:
"I am at peace with food and it is effortless to achieve my goal weight of 130 lbs."
2. If you notice it doesn't feel that achievable, it is critical that you write out WHY. You can look at this in terms of negative beliefs about it your goal that you have. The classic "yeah but" statements that Gary Craig talks about. Keep it short and to the point.
Common examples of "yeah but's" from the above statement:
I can't give up all the foods I love (because...)
I can't do all that is required to maintain it
I hate exercise and I think I have to exercise xyz amount per week to do it
I've never done it before so why would I be able to now
I will just gain it all back so why bother
I'm too old, too tired, too sick, too (you name it) to do it now
I don't have the time
1. After you have made your list and have your concrete goal tap for every single negative belief that comes up individually until they are at a zero.
This is very important to do. Take each and every negative belief very seriously. They are pure saboteurs and make any positive affirmation or reframe null and void often.
2. For best results and deeper work with tapping, for each negative belief or "yeah but" statement that you have ask yourself the following questions:
What does this remind me of?
When is the first time or worst time I remember feeling this way?
Is there a negative consequence I fear is possible if I let this go now?
As an example I will use the first "yeah but" negative belief above to ask these questions for.
What does it remind you of- that feeling of deprivation of giving up your favorite foods? (Tap for whatever comes up)
When is the first or worst time you remember feeling deprived in this way?
Is there a negative consequence of giving up that favorite food? Another way to ask this is, what negative thing might happen if you gave it up?
Often people are well aware of the negative thing that would happen if we took away their favorite foods: they would have to face some pretty scary feelings they don't want to feel. THAT is where productive tapping begins if you are confident in going there alone. If not, please seek out support to get you started.
Whether you think you can or think you can't, you are right. ~ Henry Ford
So which will you choose?
I think you can. Do you?
San Francisco, California, US
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on Aug 10, 2013.