Why Mentoring Matters for EFT Practitioners

What does mentoring and supervision mean to you? Is it:

• Just a “ticky box” exercise to keep your trainer or organisation happy?
• An unwelcome imposition that you don’t have the time or money for?
• Something you don’t need because you already know everything you need to know?
• A threat to be avoided because you might get found out, judged or challenged?
• A welcome chance to share, learn, and be supported in the work that you do?

Why Is Mentoring Necessary?

Being a tapping practitioner is hard! It can be a lonely business; it’s just you and your client, trying to do the best you can in the moment with whatever the client brings.

Aside from the challenges of the issue you are working on, there is another layer of potential challenges floating beneath the surface: How you feel about what you are doing, what is being triggered in you by your client, and how you may be triggering your client.

As if that were not enough, sometimes your client will present you with issues you have no idea how to handle. You do the best you can with the skills you have, but you know it could have been much better.

Finally, you may have to navigate ethical problems or need to manage issues of risk with your client.

All of this unfolds in real time, without an opportunity to reflect or get a perspective different than your own. It’s hard to read the label when you are inside the jar!

For all these reasons, practitioners need mentoring so they can have the help and support they need to do an even better job.

What to Work on with a Mentor

Ideally, a mentor will be accepting, supportive, and experienced. Good mentors know how hard this work can be, and they understand the challenges because they have been through those kinds of challenges themselves. A good mentor will acknowledge your struggles and seek to collaborate with you as an informed colleague.

Working with a mentor gives you a chance to explain your challenges and questions to someone who understands. It allows you an accepting space to explore the implications of those challenges and possible ways of addressing them.

In mentoring sessions, you can get help on practical issues such as:

• What do I do with a client who [fill in the blank]?
• How to handle a specific problem
• How to structure an intake process

Mentoring can also help you with ethical issues such as:

• What to do if you start falling in love with your client—or start to loathe them
• What if my client wants to be my friend?
• What do I need to do if my client has disclosed abuse?

In short, mentoring can help you keep your balance, build your skills and confidence, and give you a broader perspective on this challenging work.

Group vs. Individual Mentoring

Group and individual mentoring each have their own advantages.

In one-to-one mentoring, you get the undivided attention of a mentor, which allows you to go into more detail with the challenges you are encountering. It allows a more thorough exploration of the pitfalls and possibilities of what you are working on. It also makes it easier to be more open because you don’t need to worry what other people in a group session might think of you.

In group mentoring sessions, you can share your experiences with other people who may be working with similar challenges. Knowing you are not alone can come as a great relief. In a group session, you get encouragement and suggestions from the other participants as well as from the mentor. If you are a less experienced practitioner, a group gives you an opportunity to learn; if you are an experienced practitioner, it gives you an opportunity to share your hard-earned wisdom and experience.

Finding a Good Mentor

Everyone wants to be a good practitioner. We all would like to look professional, competent, and skillful. We all want to be doing well financially and respected by our trainers, mentors, and peers.

Unfortunately, being a practitioner isn’t always smooth sailing. Sometimes things don’t go well. We are only human, and we do make mistakes, stumbling over our inexperience and blind spots. (This happens even if you are experienced.)

We don’t usually enjoy examining our own perceived failures, let alone drawing other people’s attention to them. Unfortunately, to get the help we need, we have to expose our vulnerability and mistakes. If you have a good mentor, they will be as kind, straightforward, and helpful to you as they would be to their clients.

Keep in mind that mentors are also human and imperfect. In choosing a mentor, beware of:

• The mentor who seems to think you can do no right: Mentoring is not intended to be a punishment. If your mentor constantly finds fault, criticises, or condemns you, find a better one.
• The mentor who seems to think you can do no wrong: Some problems can’t be solved just by good vibes alone. If your mentor supports and praises you without challenging mistakes or holding you to account, find a better one, even though it might be hard leaving the praise behind.

Making the Most of Group Mentoring

In a group mentoring situation, the problem of vulnerability can be magnified: No one wants to look stupid among their peers, and there is a lot of social pressure and expectation to have it all together. Openly discussing a difficult client or mistakes you may have made can be very challenging.

Even in a safe space where you trust your mentors and the other mentees, broaching sensitive topics is risky. However, it can be hugely beneficial as it deepens trust and learning—and can be quite liberating as members of the group see they don't have to pretend to be perfect.

Who Would Benefit from Having a Mentor?

If you are still debating whether mentoring is a good idea or not, these points may help you decide.

Don’t get mentoring if you’d like to:

• Feel alone and unsupported in your work
• Keep making the same mistakes and struggling with the same client issues
• Lose clients and your credibility
• Get into ethical problems you could have avoided
• Keep fooling yourself that you are doing a good job all by yourself

Do get mentoring if you’d like to:

• Feel supported and part of a wider community of practitioners
• Learn how to serve your clients to the best of your ability
• Develop your skills and confidence
• Avoid practical and ethical problems
• Keep clients and develop your credibility as a skilled practitioner

I hope I’ve made a good case for the value of mentoring. I’ve been tapping for more than 20 years, and I still get a lot out of both providing and receiving mentoring and supervision.

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Andy Hunt is an EFT Advanced Practitioner and Master Trainer and an NLP Master Practitioner and Trainer based in the United Kingdom. He is the creator of the Identity Healing advanced EFT techniques.  He specialises in complex issues, inner child work, and self-esteem.

Image credit: Hannah Busing on Unsplash