Why Not Me?

The Client's Issue:

The presenting issue for the client was that he was launching his coaching business after leaving his corporate job. When he came his energy was quite low and was overwhelmed. He felt overwhelmed as people in his community were earning and he was not able to start earning at all. He was feeling left behind in the rat race of money.

Tapping on the physical symptoms

Working on symptoms in the body, we tapped on pain below the chest and some tightness behind his head. As these body symptoms calmed down, he retorted that he had held his 30-day challenge to get leads but no one actually registered for his challenge. He was feeling hurt, lost and panicky because he had so much work to do. Because of this frustration of not being able to earn and get leads, he could not focus on his work and was constantly getting overwhelmed.

Tapping on the emotions

We tapped on the emotions of frustration and panic that he was feeling in his body. The client also experienced a slight pressure in his head. This disappeared as we carefully tapped and removed the charge of these emotions from his body, especially below the chest.

Tapping on a memory

I asked the client when did he earlier experience these symptoms. Initially, the client said that he felt clueless and only a soft flash of an orange brownish color came. So as a practitioner, I started exactly from where the client was. As we tapped on this cue, the client could recall a time from his childhood when he was in the 5th grade. His teacher ‘Diane’ (name changed) hadn't loved him the way his earlier grade teachers had. The client was feeling really sad for himself and realized how in the previous grades other students would have felt when he used to be pampered by the teacher. (A perspective shift)

We dived into this memory and tapped on his emotions of sadness and feeling left alone. The client became clearer on his memory and recalled that the teacher was not well and had not been in school for a long time. So, as a class in charge he had initiated a prayer writing for her. When the teacher returned, he showed her the piece of paper.  The teacher was warm to other students but not to him. The client remarked that she was probably disturbed and that's why she might have been cold and dry towards him. As my client was talking about this, he suddenly felt a surge of anger that if she could be loving and caring for others, why not towards him?

Another memory pops up

The client felt sad and angry. We started to tap on this anger and sadness in the body and as these emotions started to subside another entangling memory came in. The client could see himself on the terrace, trying to study by his own in the 5th grade. His mother had told him that, "Now you are a grown up you can study on your own. I have your younger brother and sister to take care of ”

The client now felt lonelier and sadder because at both the places at home and at school, he was left alone and felt not taken care of. The client remarked that why did both these things have to happen together. They should have come in a staggered form so that at that age, he could manage. We started tapping on this memory to process this sadness, anger and loneliness. As a practitioner, though, I could see valuable insights or patterns related to what was happening with the client in the current scenario.

Tapping on the pressure on his head, his anger rose. Tapping on all these feelings, emotions and expressing what the client was going through helped subside the pain below the chest and his feelings of overwhelm.  The client then realized that it was difficult for his mom alone to manage three kids as his father was busy with important work at office. But this time the client got stuck with this question; why not me? This question increased the lonely feeling in the client. While tapping on this the client talked about his tough subjects in 5th grade - social science with long answers. This was also creating a pressure in the head of the client which was like a tightness behind the head. This pressure was similar when the client thought about his current work and felt a lot of panic.

Finding clarity and self-appreciation

The client felt really relaxed after this session as he was able to get a lot of clarity of how to proceed further with this business. He felt that he needs to appreciate himself at least once a day. Because he has taken the courage to put himself out there and take the first step at least. At the end of this session I had asked the client to work on another strong belief that he will not get clients if he does not have leads and to examine the inside edge in the next session.

 Vandana Bhasin is an Accredited Certified EFT Practitioner based in Delhi, India.

Photo by Japheth Mast on Unsplash