I think about this topic a lot, as I've been working with clients to change their lives for over 8 years now consistently and of course, I work on my own goals too.
Why do some people take action and get results where others will linger and fail, or worse, go backwards!
I'm going to give you a very clear answer that I am 100% CERTAIN is true. Not 99% certain, but 100% certain based on my own life and my clients.
Are you ready for this?
Oh, wow, that's pretty simple you say, thanks!
No, actually it's really where the rubber hits the road for all of us. We bail out of our goals when things get tricky or challenging and I think we do this for one reason and one reason only.
We do this for fear that we are not good enough deep down for whatever we say we want. It is why we can't commit, why we can't decide to finally go for it fully and be "all in" and why we get crappy results when we get crappy results. (Of course, I am only speaking of the big goals we say we really really want, not things we don't. Weight loss, health, success in finances, a great relationship, etc.)
So why do we feel not good enough? Well, do you have a few lifetimes?
I know, it's a very big topic but here is the deal, we CAN feel our worth and faster than we ever imagined if we would just let go of the past limiting stories that we all cling to at times.
Some of these stories are even unconscious but they all lead to the same dead end:
I am not enough.
Here are some common examples of how this looks:
I'm not good enough because....
1. I had a crappy childhood
2. I'm not smart enough
3. I'm not pretty enough
4. I'm not thin enough
5. I'm just not ready I need another degree
6. I don't have the time
7. I don't have the money
8. I've made so many mistakes in the past, I must just suck or be a total failure
I'll debunk all of these myths for you in one article
Tony Robbins, Oprah and how many other top achievers all had totally crappy childhoods. I'll bet you can think of many people who did and overcame it right?
Einstein flunked out of high school. High school! And Tony Robbins did not go to college and does not have any certifications whatsoever as far as I know. Tony is the father of the entire coaching industry. Think about this for a minute. He has zero advanced education. (Which frankly I think is why he can think so outside the box, which I applaud.)
Oprah was told she had to change her name, her face, her hair and pretty much everything else about herself to be TV ready and popular.
She did none of those things and became the most popular TV personality in history at 18 years old I believe it was, surpassing Donahue in her first years on TV. (Some of you, like me, are old enough to remember Donahue! He was massively popular in case you were wondering. I can still remember watching him every day after school.) 😉
Name one top female celebrity or model who hasn't struggled with body image and self worth, even though we see them as perfectly beautiful, talented, thin etc. Being thin and "beautiful" just ain't the answer either I'm afraid.
Maya Angelou, Tony Robbins, Oprah, and Einstein all originally did not have an advanced education before launching careers or achieving greatness.
Lastly, some of the most successful people I have ever heard of in every walk of life never had the time or the money to do something, they MADE the time and created the financial opportunity out of nothing. Myself included. I put myself through college with zero help and working so many jobs I was honestly a wreck half the time but I not only went to the best school but graduated in the field I loved. I created a career by working for FREE in a restaurant I loved, paying for parking and the commute even when I literally had no money at all and yes, barely could make the rent 25 years ago.
Decisive commitment to push through the beliefs, the challenges, the fears that EVERYONE must face. I wish I could say it all just magically goes away one day and maybe it does if you aren't taking any risks at all. But what is that kind of life?
Safe and comfortable but not very fulfilling right?
We want fulfillment to be happy I think. A life of purpose and meaning and it all starts with our commitment to ourselves.
I call this leadership. Some of you who know me know that I talk a lot about horses and what I have learned from working with my own amazing horse.
In the horse world, leadership is everything. You have to have solid commitment to be the leader and this is what it takes in our own lives too.
Is there fear? Oh, hell yes.
Are there challenges? That's a big yes.
Is it worth it? MASSIVELY.
How To Tap
So here is the only tapping guideline for commitment and leadership that I can think of. It is this one question:
What is the downside of taking leadership in whatever way you are challenged in your life NOW?
As I mentioned, usually fears are what come up for people but they do not have to stop you. Work with them. But do not wait till the magical day when they all go away. Sometimes our greatest fears are our greatest opportunities. In facing challenge and fear we discover who we really are: the heros of our own lives.
That is where to tap first and get committed because before there is commitment there are so-so, wishy washy results.
Here's to being the leader and hero of your own life!
San Francisco, California, US
From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on Jul 5, 2014.