Excellence in EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Since 1999
  • Login


  • signup now | forgot password?
  • Join!
  • language select Language or Region
    • Additional Languages & Regions
    • Arabic – بالعربية
    • Deutsch
    • Español
    • Farsi - فارسی
    • Français
    • Australia
    • India
    • Italy - Italian
    • Netherlands - Nederlands
    • New Zealand & Oceania
    • South East Asia
  • Contact
  • Search

EFT International

Advancing EFT Tapping (Emotional Freedom Techniques) Worldwide Since 1999

eft international world map
  • Home
  • About Us
    • About EFT International™
    • Media Resources
    • Meet the Teams
    • Policies & Procedures
    • Contact EFTi for Information and Support
  • Discover EFT
    • Find an EFT Practitioner or Mentor
    • What is EFT?
    • EFT Articles
    • Science & Research
    • Free EFT Manual
    • Books & Resources
  • EFT Training
    • EFT Trainings & Events
    • Training Overview
    • Getting Started
    • Training Levels
    • Accredited Certification
  • Membership Info
    • Join EFT International
    • Membership Levels & Fees
    • Member Policies & FAQs
    • Transfer to EFTi
    • About Accreditation

Blurt Power: UnLeashing Your Inner “Ouch!”

By: Jondi Whitis
Categories: All Tutorials, Anxiety, EFTfree Archives, Relationships

A long time ago I learned to be silent (or at least gracious!), in the face of insult or unfairness. Apparently this was thought to be good manners, and also had the added effect of not escalating an already unpleasant situation. In hindsight, it was not such a good lesson to learn. After all, how can a person grow up feeling deserving and authentic, if they’re always receiving and accepting insult or unfairness from others? The result of this habit was vulnerable at best, victimized at worst.

From the beginning, I’d been taught this: “Jesus always turned the other cheek.” (Not particularly helpful during grade school years.) A decade or so later, I overheard someone summing me up as, “the kind of girl who, if you slapped her, she’d say, ‘Oh! Did you hurt your hand?!’" That was the earnest beginning of reclaiming my true feelings, and the search for better ways than I’d been taught to handle difficult people. Don’t get the wrong idea – difficult people are still difficult, but a fraction of my earlier problem. I simply understand them (and myself) much better, now.

After learning many things from many masters, I developed my own sense of self-acceptance and self-empowerment. (A journey that never ends, I believe, if we keep desiring to grow.) And one of the best tools I’ve found came to me by accident – or should I say, "Spirit" handed me a wonderful teaching moment?

One day I received a co-worker’s "tongue-lashing," as we call it in the South. Not expecting to be on the receiving end of that kind of behavior shocked me into speechlessness - except for one, tiny child’s expression: “Ouch!”

Yes, I actually said, “Ouch!” to an angry grown-up, which totally confused them! My co-worker stopped their tirade long enough to scrutinize me anew, leaned in closer and asked, “What did you say?”

The power of this child-like expression of hurt and surprise arrested my colleague, and in the small silence – that holy instant, as A Course In Miracles (ACIM) puts it – I leapt into the deep of truth-telling; with that jump I’d committed myself to responding authentically. I now call this, “Blurt Power.”

Ouch!

Having entered the conversation with this blurt of “Ouch!”, I now have the space and the obligation to respond, to fully connect and join the conversation from my truth! Now I’m a "Blurter”, instead of a verbal punching bag. A truth-teller, not a victim. That one little “Ouch” gave me a tiny breath of time to wake up, and choose better than the pattern of passively absorbing the blow.

Once I said, “Ouch!,” it was like breaking a spell, and I could truthfully engage on my behalf. I could say things like, “Yes, I said ‘ouch!’ because that really stung me. I doubt you’re trying to do that, so let’s try it again. What can I do for you?” The result was predictably much better, for both of us!

I’ve used this technique many times since, and it’s never let me down. The feedback has been good from those who try it. (The ones who don’t protest it’s too childish a word for them, but not every technique is for everyone, is it?) Do you suffer from not being able to speak up for yourself? Why not give this little word a try? And of course, you’ll want to tap on that! I’ve included some of my tapping strategies below. Enjoy!

How To Tap Using "Blurt Power"

BEFORE. Before you go into a situation with a difficult person is a great time to tap with yourself, both your Intentions, fears, feelings doubt, etc. What do you say? Well, I teach my students to just "say what is so." If you know you can’t handle a specific personality well, have a habit of folding or flying off the handle, use that circumstance and habit in your tap, before you go in.

Even though I’m about to see ___, and that makes me feel ___, I do want to accept myself, even with all these old patterns that aren’t working for me anymore. I usually ___, and that makes me feel ___. I accept myself anyway.”

SURPRISE. Being caught by surprise is normal, for most of us. So it helps to have set an intention to change your pattern (at least with that person or kind of situation), and have tapped about this in preparation. Then the next time you are caught by ‘surprise’ you won’t be surprised! (And you’ll have it handled already!)

Even though I never know when ___ is going to pop up, I’m pretty sure that ____ will pop up! I’m pretty sure that I could try something new, something that might keep me feeling safer, and honest, too. What if I set an Intention to be present and authentic? What if that wasn’t very hard at all?

Even though I usually ___ whenever that ____ happens, I can see this strategy is starting to make me feel ____. Maybe I could find something new to try. Is it possible I can tell my truth in a wholly acceptable way, one that acknowledges who I am, how I feel, and a better way to experience upsetting surprises? Is it possible I could just blurt out, “Ouch!” the next time that happens? I’m willing to accept myself, either way, and this one little word might just help me do that!

or, Even though I haven’t tried out a new habit in a while, maybe before I get surprised again is a good time to try one! I wonder how that would feel, being prepared, or authentic and sturdy, would feel, instead? What if I could just use one little word to get me started? Heck, it’s just one little word…I can do that!

Try Some Role Play

Imagine an old situation, one where you were tongue-tied or too shocked to respond. See yourself in great detail; check out your surroundings, who else was there, what you were wearing, or the look on your face, the look on their face, the way your body felt at the biggest drama peak in the memory...

Now, imagine this scene again, but this time, watch the person talking, but notice how you feel differently, because you’re prepared this time – you know what happen in the memory! Knowing that, you can now feel yourself relax; imagine yourself responding to the person by saying, “Ouch!” Notice how your body is responding when you see yourself saying that in the memory - how your face, mouth or skin feels, maybe you also can detect this in your stomach or throat.

Next, allow yourself to continue talking your truth, telling the person how you feel about their actions. Try out several different versions until you have one that feels right. For instance, “When you bring a problem to my attention, it’s a lot easier for me to take action when it’s not so personal”, or, “Yelling shuts me down, and then I can’t help you.” The goal is to be authentic, specific and mindful of how everyone can get their needs met, using a more comfortable and productive communication style.

Give it a try, you never know. And your surprises don’t have to be bad ones. My name’s Jondi Whitis, and I approved this message!


Jondi Whitis is an EFT International Accredited Certified EFT Master Trainer of Trainers and Advanced Practitioner based in Brooklyn, New York. An educator at heart, she is one of the voices of EFT Radio Online and co-founder of Tapfest.com and TappingStar.com. Jondi also offers mentoring for EFT certification. Find out more about Jondi and her services at www.eft4results.com.

From the EFTfree Archives, which are now a part of EFT International .
Originally published on September 30, 2012.

Comments

  1. Ange Finn says

    30 September, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    What a clear, sensible, easy-to-try concept. This is so helpful, thank you, Jondi!

    Reply
    • Jondi says

      22 January, 2018 at 9:11 pm

      That means a lot to me, Ange! Thank you and so glad it was helpful!

      Reply

Share Your Comments & Feedback Cancel reply

Search EFT Articles

Browse Articles by Category:

  • Areas of EFT Practice (373)
    • Abundance (9)
    • Abuse (5)
    • Addictions (16)
    • ADHD (1)
    • Aging (7)
    • Ancestral issues (1)
    • Anger (15)
    • Animals (21)
    • Anxiety (41)
    • Business Success (14)
    • Caregiving (2)
    • Children (23)
    • Dentistry (1)
    • Ethics (3)
    • Families & Parenting (18)
    • Fear (34)
    • Grief and Loss (22)
    • Insomnia (1)
    • Law of Attraction (9)
    • LGBTQ+ Issues (1)
    • Motivation (11)
    • Natural Disasters (5)
    • Peak Performance (22)
    • Phobias (14)
    • Physical Issues (97)
      • Accidents (4)
      • Allergies (5)
      • Cravings (13)
      • Infertility (1)
      • Pain (13)
      • Serious Disease (15)
      • Skin (2)
      • Weight and Fitness (36)
    • Procrastination (2)
    • Racial issues (2)
    • Relationships (31)
    • Self Care (11)
    • Self-Acceptance (43)
    • Self-Sabotage (2)
    • Sexual issues (1)
    • Spirituality & Metaphysics (10)
    • Stress (27)
    • Trauma (84)
  • Community News (5)
  • EFT in the News (2)
  • EFT Training Resources (275)
    • All Tutorials (68)
    • Borrowing Benefits (4)
    • Complex Issues (40)
    • Core EFT Skills (71)
    • Core Issues (25)
    • EFT Strategies (120)
    • Geo-Specific EFT (4)
    • Inner Child EFT (27)
    • Inner Visuals (18)
    • Mentoring (2)
    • Reversals (23)
    • Surrogate Tapping (26)
  • EFTfree Archives (302)
  • Featured (4)
  • Integrated EFT (71)
    • Acupuncture (3)
    • Affirmations (16)
    • Emergency EFT (3)
    • Matrix ReImprinting (12)
    • Spanish Language (7)
  • The Science Behind EFT (20)
Join Our Community Newsletter

Contact, Help & Support

Please use the Contact EFTi page to select which department you would like to reach.

EFT International
John Greenway Building
John Greenway Close
Tiverton, Devon, EX16 6QF
United Kingdom

EFT International (EFTi) is a not-for-profit Charitable Incorporated Organisation (CIO), registered in England and Wales, Charity number 1176538.

Our Mission

EFT International is dedicated to advancing and upholding exemplary standards for education, training, professional development, and the skilful and ethical application of EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques or "Tapping"). We are committed to supporting the growing body of evidence-based research into the efficacy of EFT, and are actively working to integrate EFT into the mainstream.

EFTi is a member of:

RCCM Logo
Integrated Healthcare logo

Quick Links

  • Discover EFT
  • EFT International Policies & Procedures
  • EFT Practitioner Directory
  • EFT International Volunteers
  • Member Policies & FAQs
  • Privacy Policy

Additional Languages & Regions:

  • AR
  • DE
  • ES
  • FA
  • FR
  • AU
  • IN
  • IT
  • NL
  • NZ
  • HK,SP

© 2023 · EFT International Registered in England and Wales, Charity number 1176538

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept All”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. However, you may visit "Cookie Settings" to provide a controlled consent.
Accept AllCookie SettingsPrivacy Policy
Manage consent

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. These cookies ensure basic functionalities and security features of the website, anonymously.
CookieDurationDescription
cookielawinfo-checkbox-advertisement1 yearSet by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin, this cookie is used to record the user consent for the cookies in the "Advertisement" category .
cookielawinfo-checkbox-analytics11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-functional11 monthsThe cookie is set by GDPR cookie consent to record the user consent for the cookies in the category "Functional".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-necessary11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookies is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Necessary".
cookielawinfo-checkbox-others11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Other.
cookielawinfo-checkbox-performance11 monthsThis cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Performance".
CookieLawInfoConsent1 yearRecords the default button state of the corresponding category & the status of CCPA. It works only in coordination with the primary cookie.
ts3 yearsPayPal sets this cookie to enable secure transactions through PayPal.
ts_c3 yearsPayPal sets this cookie to make safe payments through PayPal.
viewed_cookie_policy11 monthsThe cookie is set by the GDPR Cookie Consent plugin and is used to store whether or not user has consented to the use of cookies. It does not store any personal data.
Functional
Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features.
Performance
Performance cookies are used to understand and analyze the key performance indexes of the website which helps in delivering a better user experience for the visitors.
CookieDurationDescription
_gat1 minuteThis cookie is installed by Google Universal Analytics to restrain request rate and thus limit the collection of data on high traffic sites.
Analytics
Analytical cookies are used to understand how visitors interact with the website. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.
CookieDurationDescription
_ga2 yearsThe _ga cookie, installed by Google Analytics, calculates visitor, session and campaign data and also keeps track of site usage for the site's analytics report. The cookie stores information anonymously and assigns a randomly generated number to recognize unique visitors.
_gid1 dayInstalled by Google Analytics, _gid cookie stores information on how visitors use a website, while also creating an analytics report of the website's performance. Some of the data that are collected include the number of visitors, their source, and the pages they visit anonymously.
CONSENT2 yearsYouTube sets this cookie via embedded youtube-videos and registers anonymous statistical data.
Advertisement
Advertisement cookies are used to provide visitors with relevant ads and marketing campaigns. These cookies track visitors across websites and collect information to provide customized ads.
CookieDurationDescription
VISITOR_INFO1_LIVE5 months 27 daysA cookie set by YouTube to measure bandwidth that determines whether the user gets the new or old player interface.
YSCsessionYSC cookie is set by Youtube and is used to track the views of embedded videos on Youtube pages.
yt-remote-connected-devicesneverYouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video.
yt-remote-device-idneverYouTube sets this cookie to store the video preferences of the user using embedded YouTube video.
Others
Other uncategorized cookies are those that are being analyzed and have not been classified into a category as yet.
CookieDurationDescription
AKA_MVT_ID10 minutesNo description available.
SAVE & ACCEPT