I’ve recently started reading a fascinating book titled Toxic Positivity. The author, Whitney Goodman, discusses how much of today’s positivity lingo, although well-intentioned, can actually be counterproductive. Many positive statements we hear or say to ourselves are oversimplified and lack nuance, compassion, and curiosity. Instead of helping, they can dismiss or invalidate our true feelings and suggest that our current emotions are wrong.
When Positive Thinking Doesn't Lead to Positive Results
Positive thinking, in this sense, can be like putting a Band-Aid on a bullet wound. Instead of encouraging genuine healing, it can lead to emotional suppression. Over time, this emotional suppression can take a toll on our bodies, minds, relationships, and even society. As we internalize these overly positive messages, we may feel isolated in our pain or frustrated when we don’t experience the “happiness” we’re supposed to.
One of the things I appreciate most about EFT is that it doesn’t require us to force ourselves into feeling better or thinking more positively. Instead, EFT encourages us to “give the microphone” to what we’re actually feeling and thinking in the present moment, even if those thoughts or emotions seem unpleasant or uncomfortable.
EFT as an Antidote to Toxic Positivity
In EFT, acknowledging our truth is key to effective tapping, so we don’t brush over or dismiss our feelings; rather, we meet ourselves exactly where we are. We focus on how we feel about specific events, such as a past memory or a future imagined scenario, which allows us to be more laser-focused and not try to take on too much all at once.
For example, instead of forcing ourselves to say, “Everything will be fine,” we might tap on thoughts like, “Even though I feel overwhelmed right now, and it’s hard to see how things could improve, when I think about yesterday when I failed this exam, this is just where I’m at right now.” By tuning in to and tapping on these specific feelings, we allow ourselves to gently process them. Paradoxically, by allowing ourselves to feel the difficult emotions, we often find that we naturally start to feel better over time, and more empowering thoughts emerge without needing to force them.
EFT offers a compassionate approach, inviting us to be fully present with our emotions—whatever they may be—and working through them at our own pace. In this way, we can address emotional pain without bypassing it, giving ourselves the space and validation to experience authentic growth and relief.
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Bruno Sade is an advanced certified accredited EFT practitioner based in Argentina.
Image credit: Sean Sinclair on Unsplash
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